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So, you waited until the last minute again. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. That doesn’t mean you’re spared the punishment of heading downtown just days before those presents all have to be under the tree, though. The pressure’s on and it’s stressful. Everyone always works out in the end, I always say, but is it ever awful.
Here are 39 thoughts all of us lazy shoppers have during those last-minute, adrenaline-filled shopping days at Ottawa’s biggest shopping mall:
1. “Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with thee…”
2. Alrighty, let’s go.
3. Wow, I didn’t know there were this many people in Ottawa.
5. Where did you all come from.
6. Of course the escalator by the Nordstrom isn’t working again.
7. Solid start.
8. Ooou, the food court.
10. No, I don’t have an appointment at the Genius Bar today.
11. Look, I’m trying to buy headphones, not pick up prescription meds.
12. Maybe I can go to an actual bar instead.
13. No Apple Care, no thank you. It’s not my fault if they break it.
14. Whatever happened to Christmas being about Jesus.
15. I’m overwhelmed.
16. Maybe I’ll check around the new section.
17. My bank account’s really going to get me for this one.
18. *Check’s the price tag at Simon’s* No, I don’t like people that much.
19. Wow, I’m not a good person.
20. *Goes into the Disney Store*
21. “Hi do you have Moana.”
22. “Yes, Frozen will do.”
23. Frozen always works.
24. K, I know nothing about anyone I love.
25. What do I buy for mom?
26. The Bay. Moms love stuff from the Bay.
27. *Heads to Rideau Street to the crosswalk*
28. Gotta wait for the walking signal.
29. Wait. Sinkhole, LRT, construction.
30. Crosswalks don’t exist on this part of town anymore.
31. *Texts mom*
32. “What do you want.”
33. Easy stuff.
34. God, that perfume scent is strong.
35. Does anyone even think the Bay logo looks like The Bay?
37. 4pm and it’s already dark.
38. I’m not doing this again next year.
39. Probably will, though.