We’ve all been guilty of it once or twice. After a tough breakup, you find yourself missing your past relationship, wondering if you made a mistake letting that person go. Sometimes, you’ll even go far as getting back together, before realizing that you made the right decision in the first place.
If you’re contemplating reaching out to an ex or are simply looking for reinforcement that you made the right decision, remember that there are always reasons for staying true to your initial decision.
1.You broke up for a reason.
More often than not, there are key factors that lead to the dissolution of a relationship. If the reasons that led you to break up haven’t been resolved, they’ll come up again.
2. You might just be lonely.
If you feel lonely without a relationship, sometimes you can entertain the idea of getting back together simply because don’t like being alone, not because you actually think you were better off with that person.
3. It can be hard to build the trust back up.
If the trust was shattered in your past relationship, it can be impossible to rebuild it. Without fully being able to trust your partner, no relationship can be successful.
4. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
When you’ve spent so long with someone, it can be hard to picture yourself with someone else. It can be easy to forget just how many other people who are out there for you. It’s important to remember that you will meet so many other people who will be right for you in the ways that your ex wasn’t.
5. You might be missing the idea of them rather than the actual relationship itself.
After a relationship ends, people tend to idealize the good times and forget about the bad times. The problem is that as soon as you decide to give it another shot, the same reasons that you weren’t happy in the relationship tend to pop back up.
6. You have too much history.
Chances are that you’ve both hurt each other in the past. Giving the relationship another shot means that dealing with those tough feelings all over again, and if you can’t forgive, it won’t ever fully work.
7. You can’t expect them to change things that they couldn’t before.
If you couldn’t make it work while you were actually in the relationship, it’s not going to magically get better a second time around.
9. It’s tough on your family and friends too.
When you and your S.O. break up, you don’t just lose a partner. Your friends and family also lose someone who they have been a part of their lives as well. If they were close to your boyfriend/girlfriend, it can be difficult for them to have you break up and get back together only to break up again.
10. You might be doing it out of obligation, not because you want to.
Maybe you feel guilty for hurting them. Maybe you have other reasons you feel you need to stay like a shared apartment or pet. But no good relationship stems from feeling you have to be together, not that you want to be together.
11. Just because it’s comfortable, doesn’t mean it’s right.
If you were together for a while, you probably fell into a routine that was comfortable. Adjusting to to life without can be tricky, but it doesn’t mean that you should go running back to them. Even though feeling safe and at ease with someone is a great feeling, it’s definitely not enough to keep a loveless relationship going.
12. The sex was bad.
Whether you like to admit it or not, a physical connection is really important in any relationship. If the spark wasn’t there before, it’s not going to magically appear overnight.
13. This isn’t the first time you’ve split and got back together, chances are it’s just going to keep happening.
I hate to break it to you but: if you’re one of those on-and-off couples, you’re probably just going to keep breaking up. Sad but true.
14. You need to learn to fall in love with yourself first.
More often than not, people hang onto relationships longer than they should because they’re scared of being alone. It’s important to learn to be comfortable being on your own. Being single is your chance to be selfish, to work on improving yourself, and most importantly, loving yourself.