9 Subtle Ways To Make Your Ex Jealous
If you have an ex, you would most likely want them to think that you're doing great. Looking put together and accomplished instead of slovenly eating last night's burrito at 9am on a Sunday, with $2 in your chequeing account. And, in some cases, you do want that ex to feel jealous - because maybe they broke your heart, did something terrible to you, or generally made you feel like a piece of shit.
Don't get me wrong, being friends with exes is great. I personally think it's way better to be friends with your ex than cut off a relationship all together. But there are some instances where you just have to flex on them. Not to snub them, but to make you feel invincible.
You've probably heard of the word 'petty'. Maybe your mom told you it was a bad thing to be growing up. I like to think as these steps not as petty per say, but as ways to rectify a past break-up, or even get yourself feeling great again.
1. Find a new fake-boo
This is truly essential to a good ex-flex. Maybe it's your guy-friend with an incredible beard your ex could never grow. A dude at the bar that slightly resembles Zac Efron. Someone in your social circle your ex insisted had a crush on you. Congrats, this is your new fake-boo. Enlist them for a quick photoshoot at a pre or bar, filter it to perfection and throw it on your story. Add a fun, sexy, ~mysterious~ caption or emoji to spice things up. Trust us, your ex will be viewing this more than once and will be trying to crack it like the DiVinci Code.
2. Scout out that new job & update your LinkedIn
If you re-evaluated your life, you hopefully re-evaluated your job post break-up. And that usually means accepting a promotion, moving, or finding a new position. You quit your deadbeat desk gig and are now teaching English in Japan? LinkedIn that shit ASAP. LinkedIn may target older demographics, but it is an excellent subtle flex that's not as braggy as Facebook but still comes through with the e-mail notifications. *Ex Bae has viewed your profile* Honey, I know they did.
3. Go on a sick vacation
Anytime anyone goes on a vacation anywhere I am immediately jealous. Chances are, your ex will be too. It doesn't have to be Bora Bora or Vegas to really get to them. Hell, treat yourself to a staycation or book an AirBnB in a cute small town. Meet new people, eat dope food, forget about the person who is clinging on to your Insta-pics at home.
4. Cut off communication
No-thing makes a romantic interest want to talk to you more than cutting them off. Maybe it's just me, but whenever somebody goes ghost for a while, obviously I start thinking AND checking up on them. It's natural curiosity, folks. Obviously, you're not going to have a healthy relationship with your ex if the two of you never speak, but if that's what you're after - giving them the cold shoulder should make you seem all the more mysterious and unavailable.
5. Delete them off everything - but like their friend's posts
This is ultra petty but sometimes when you break up with someone, you need a clean sweep. Getting someone off your feed and out of your life can make you feel incredible. Even more incredible? Liking their best friend's photos and Facebook posts. They will notice and they will go crazy.
6. Be in their neighbourhood and don't hit them up
If you and your ex were long distance or significantly far away from one another, this is a great flex. They know you're never in Thornhill and yet you're at his favourite bagel place getting a sun-dried tomato and cream cheese?! They will feel all the things. If they send a text? Don't reply. If you want to make them jealous, you don't need them in your life. You're on the revenge tour now baby.
7. Look incredible in one shameless Instagram
Use this one wisely. You literally have one shot to do this and do it right. EVERYONE is waiting for this picture. You might not think they are, but this is your one chance to tell the world you are 1. hot 2. single and, 3. hella unphased.
8. Step up your dating game
I'm not suggesting you post screenshots of your best Tinder lines, but get yourself out there. You don't have to broadcast every time you go out on a date, but make sure you're ready and feeling good and open to meeting new people. Even if dates turn into friendships, you're still hanging out with people who aren't your ex.
9. Do something for yourself that you've always wanted
You want to go to that new poké place? Play guitar? Do a semester in France? Guess what? Now's the time. Get to it. Make it happen. Not for your ex, but totally for you. You don't have to post about it. The energy you're giving off and the direction your life is headed in will be more than enough for your ex to take notice and think twice about you.
The most important thing to take away is the key behind all of these steps, is trying to make yourself totally happy. You have to accept who you are, where you're going, and who you want to be. True jealousy comes from wanting something or someone. And most of the time, we just want to be happy. You have to be happy on your own, without your ex. So if you need to, flex on them. Get it out and get ready to feel better about yourself. You are officially on a solo-track to happiness, without them.