Dating in 2018 is hard. I always find myself wondering, how do people meet their significant others if it isn't through mutual friends or dating apps? It seems like authentic human interaction so rarely happens nowadays. People don't ask for your number at the grocery store, no one "accidentally" bumps into you on the train, and people at clubs don't even know your name when they ask you to go home with them.
We are a generation that's so afraid of being vulnerable, and so few of us are willing to be open about the fact that we crave genuine human connection, and want to be loved. Sure, there's nothing wrong with having casual sex, or using dating apps for things other than dating, so long as you're being clear about your intentions. You don't want your time wasted, so why waste anyone else's?
If you ask me, there's a lot of really shitty dating trends that our generation has created and popularized. These trends are toxic, and they should definitely be left in 2018. How many of these are you guilty of?
Have you ever taken a photo to post on social media, keeping in mind that ONE specific person is going to see it? Maybe your ex-boyfriend, or that new Tinder match? What this dating trend is all about is presenting yourself in a certain way online to make yourself seem more appealing to those that you're interested in. Maybe you're talking to someone who claims they love rap music, so you share a photo of that new Kendrick song on your story, or the girl you're into says she's a passionate activist, so you share that tweet about the newest environmentalist movement.
Whatever it may be, you should really stop. Be yourself authentically on Instagram and other social channels, and the right people will come to you. You don't need to fake your interests to get someone's attention - you're a lot cooler than you think.
I think it's pretty fair to assume we've all been on one side of this at least once. You know that one guy who's in your DM's whenever you post a new photo, but he never actually makes any moves, or suggest that the two of you hang out? He's breadcrumbing you, and you need to accept the fact that he'll probably never stop doing so, so there's no point in you entertaining him.
I have a few people like this in my life, and I know that I find it really frustrating that they're always there to gas me up, or make it seem as though they're interested in me, and then go AWOL when any talk of making plans, or ACTUALLY getting to know one another comes up. Stop leading people on in 2019, it's as simple as that.
This is probably the one that I'm MOST guilty of, I'll admit. If I had a dollar for every time suggested we make plans and I brush them off with an "Oh yeah, I'll let you know when I'm free!!!", I would be rich. I am the queen of curving, and it's pretty shitty of me. Essentially, curving has been described as "letting someone down without explicitly telling them you're not interested." Yup.
In my defense though, a big reason why I choose to curve sometimes is that I've had men go full on psycho when I do explicitly tell them no, so I'm just trying to pick the lesser of two evils here. At the end of the day though, it's important to remember to always be straightforward when dealing with other people - maybe "no more curving" will make it on my list of New Years Resolutions.
If you're not entirely sure what orbiting is, don't worry - it's fairly simple. Orbiting is what happens when someone ghosts you, but continues to follow you on social media, and regularly watch your stories and double tap your posts. I'm not sure why, but something about this drives so many of us absolutely nuts. If you're going to ghost someone, why not just totally unfollow them altogether? Are you waiting for a convienent time to drop back in? Are you going to breadcrumb them the next time they post a cute selfie? Do you want to see if you still have a hold on them?
Whatever the reasoning is, it's pretty f*cked up. If you're done with someone, do them the courtesy of unfollowing them so they can move on with their life in peace, and you can do the same, after karma gets you back.
In my opinion, zombieing is much worse than ghosting. When someone ghosts you, at least they leave you alone. When someone zombies you, they go ghost for a brief period of time, only to pop back up in your DMs or messages with a ton of excuses later. "Hey sorry, I've been so busy!!!" You know the ones. Odds are good they may have been busy, but they're also taking advantage of you by doing this, and if they know that you're going to forgive them whenever they do it, then they'll keep disappearing and coming back whenever it's most convenient for them.
If someone's doing this to you, my best advice is for you to be candid with them, and let them know that you're not interested in entertaining someone who only wants to be around you when it's good for them - you deserve much, much more than that.