Ah, Calgary winters. One of the biggest struggles of living in Calgary is that we experience "winter" or "winter-like" weather for approximately 6-8 months out of the year. Although, we have our trusty Chinooks to save us from our ice-queen induced weather, it's still cold as Frosty the Snowman's a%!hole and we reserve our right to complain about it every year.
Now, you'd probably think that many of us who have lived in Calgary for some time would be pretty used to our icy roads, bone-chilling temperatures and other winter struggles. But sorry to break it to you, newcomers, it doesn't get easier. Although, it's been a while since we've had a terrible winter, (lest we forget that intense snowstorm in 2013) we will still act shocked when it snows in April and complain all winter long because being cold sucks and it makes people cranky.
To prepare us for what's to come, we've come up with a list of 21 winter struggles every Calgarian knows all too well. We can get the complaining out of our systems early.
"First winter or second winter?"
Because mother nature thinks it's cute to tease us with a little nice weather in March just to drop a snow storm on us in April.
At the first sight of snow after a while of good weather, every one starts driving 20km under the speed limit.
We don't need to do this, guys. The snow is melting as it hits the ground.
Being tailgated on Deerfoot during an actual blizzard.
My vision is very limited and I kinda feel like it'd be a good idea to not push 130 when there's black ice, but do you, boo boo.
Having winter tires on all year long.
There's really no point in taking them off - there will probably be a blizzard the day after you do.
Suddenly all the gas stations remove their pump clips/stoppers.
I believe I saw this game in one of the SAW movies. Spoiler Alert: They all freeze to death while filling their tanks.
When the city only clears the snow off the major roads, but it doesn't matter because you can't even get to the main roads because your car is stuck in the snow on your street.
It's nice that you cleared MacLeod, but I can't leave my home.
Basically having to carry a shovel in your vehicle at all times.
I love having to dig my car out of my parking spot after work because it snowed all day.
Driving in all quadrants of the city in one day and having to constantly add + remove layers.
It's not cold enough for a sweater, a scarf and a jacket in Shawnessy - but I will need all three and possibly a snow suit as we approach Kensington.
Shivering on the way to work/school because you didn't start your car early enough.
I'm sure a good 30% of Calgarian gas goes to starting/warming cars.
School/Work is never cancelled and there is no such thing as "snow days."
Alberta didn't raise no b#%!h.
Calgary Transit is the most unreliable thing you will ever use.
Expect delays. And to be 10 minutes late (minimum) every time you go anywhere. Even if you're travelling from Falconridge to Castleridge... which are basically the same community.
Cracked windshields for days.
Because we sprinkle rocks/gravel on our roads instead of salt like other provinces.
Never take Deerfoot North, ever.
Accidents, accidents, accidents.
When the construction workers don't finish the summer construction in time for winter.
As if winter driving in Calgary isn't hard enough.
Visit Deerfoot, Stoney, McKnight, and all other major roads in the city for your own personal episode of "Canada's Worst Drivers".
Does everyone suddenly forget how to drive as soon as they see snow?
White Christmas, White New Year's, White Easter, White Canada Day....
It might as well snow all year around here.
When it's below 0 and stores and restaurants still have their air conditioning on.
Hey Chinook, mind turning up the thermostat?
The YYC garbage men seem to take a season-long vacation.
"No garbage pick up. It's a lil' icy today."
You'll have to wear sunglasses and a winter coat because... Calgary.
It's cold as all hell, but the sun is still shining directly into your retinas.
Slip-n-sliding to work because the roads are completely masked in ice.
You could basically slide from Shawnessy to Somerset with the exception of the few places that they actually clear the roads.
Seeing someone in front of you slip on ice, telling yourself that you won't slip on ice, and falling anyway.