Ah, Okotoks. The small town just 25km south of [south] Calgary that prides itself on being a slightly classy little country/cow town. Perhaps our cow manure scent isn't quite as strong as Strathmore's, (Sorry, Strathmore) but we're a little country cow town nonetheless. But hey, you gotta love that Alberta beef.
The small town is known best for its incredibly well-thought-out slogan: "There are a number of things to do in Okotoks." Although, it's quite odd that many of us who grew up/live there have such trouble naming them. Not that there weren't/aren't things to do in Okotoks, (Cow tipping is a great pastime) it's just that you can only hang out in the Tim Horton's/Wendy's parking lot so many times before you start questioning your entire existence.
While being subjected to the horror of growing up in Okotoks with no way out (a.k.a no public transit) seemed like a death sentence, now that we've grown up, we can look back and laugh at all the ridiculous qualities of growing up in the town. (Well, some of us. If you're still enduring this... I'm so sorry. It gets better, I promise.)
Here are 22 signs you grew up in the lovely town of Okotoks, Alberta:
Everyone used country kid lingo.
And I mean, everyone.
You know what I'm talking about.
Hanging out at Big Rock just because.
One of the numerous things to do in Okotoks.
The HTA vs The Comp football games were always the most intense.
Are you a Falcon or a Knight?
The HTA vs The Comp rivalry.
And it seemed like everyone who went to HTA switched to the Comp and vice versa.
Even more intense was the JPII - OJ rivalry.
Oh, those middle schoolers were savages!
Falling asleep on every school field trip bus ride ever.
Nap time while we drive 45 minutes into Calgary!
When they removed the Shell Gas Station from the "Shell Hill" and you could no longer call it the "Shell Hill."
But we still call it that anyway. You know what hill I'm talking about.
You always knew getting your license would be a walk in the park because the maximum speed in Okotoks is 50 km/h.
However, you still failed anyway because the people at Ardiel Agencies mean business.
The Tim Hortons parking lot was always full people that just... hang out there.
(The one attached to the Wendy's because we have 3 now.)
That's where all the cool kids hang out, clearly.
You remember "Teen Night" at the Rec.
Is that even still a thing?
Everybody knew each other (and their parents).
And there was always a teacher that lived on your block.
When everyone got Facebook they would just add everyone in the town.
The town is small, we're bound to meet eventually.
Once the generation of Tinder came, we were all f@%!#d.
Swiping left on your 8th grade boyfriend, your best friend's 10th grade crush, your 4th grade science teacher...
Your idea of "fun" was drop-in nights at Mountain Shadows.
Yay for gymnastics.
You were excited as hell when we got a Costco.
Every suburban family's dream.
You remember when Christine's No Frills was Extra Foods.
And we were all wondering what "No Frills" meant.
You got excited every time we got a new Tim Horton's even though we already had one.
'You can never have too many Timmies." - Town of Okotoks
You know Big Dipper Ice Cream is where it's at.
Sorry Menchies/Marble Slab.
At one point, Okotoks basically consisted of Elizabeth St/Downtown Okotoks.
There are a number of things to do on Elizabeth St.
It seemed like everyone played for the Okotoks Oilers.
Leaving everyone who couldn't skate (a.k.a me) feeling like a loser.
The town keeps expanding and removing things leaving us all with so many questions.
But where the hell did the Cora's go, though?! Do we really need another Tim Horton's? And right by a Starbucks? Why is there a McDonald's across from the gym? Why is there a Save On Foods being built right beside the Costco? Does anyone actually stay at that Best Western? These are the questions that haunt me...