Ah, Calgary Transit. Probably the least reliable thing about Calgary. Even less reliable than our weather predictions. Our transit system will literally have you feeling all types of uncomfortable by the end of the ride - but the point of the matter is, you got to where you needed to be. (Most likely late, but you got there.)
READ ALSO: 29 Thoughts Every Calgarian Has While Navigating Downtown
At the end of the day, it is our most affordable public transportation method - but that doesn't mean we don't constantly complain about it. Especially in our heads... Here are some thoughts every Calgarian has while riding transit:
"The Calgary Transit site says the bus will be here in 0 minutes, so that probably means it'll get here in 25 minutes."
"I literally just ran for the wrong bus."
"Does the bus driver know it's -20?"
"Why must you stop 3 feet ahead of where a line has already formed?"
"Let people get out before you start shoving yourself in, please and thanks."
"Shit, I lost my transit card! ...oh wait false alarm."
"Why is there constantly a Calgary Herald paper taking up a seat?"
"You are purposely sitting in the middle seat to make people uncomfortable aren't you."
"...And I forgot my headphones."
"Maybe if I look like a bitch, no one will sit beside me."
"Update: someone sat beside me."
"Sir, you smell like a ripe banana."
"Wait, is that me?... No, it's definitely you, sir, you smell like a ripe banana."
"Oh, so you're just gonna pull into this Tim Hortons... to make everyone on the bus more late than we already are..."
"Bus Driver, if you don't get your butt back in that seat!!!!"
"You better share them Timbits, homeboy."
"Did I unplug my straightener?"
"Why are there 6 ATB Financial ads in a row on the ceiling. You really only need one."
"Why won't this middle aged man give up his seat for this pregnant woman? Chivalry is alive and well in Calgary, I see."
"The bus is now accumulating more humans... I cannot breathe."
"Excuse me, sir, your pelvic region is very close to my head."
"Yo, who just let one rip... on transit, man?! You're all a bunch of savages."
"Ew, I just inhaled this guy's exhale."
"I am 50 shades of uncomfortable."
*Overhears argument over Flames or Oilers*
"Why is there not C-Train stations in the southern communities off of Deerfoot?"
"Do Somerset/Bridlewood and Shawnessy really need different C-Train stations, though? You guys are just being selfish."
"But why doesn't MRU have a C-Train stop, though?"
"Hey, buddy, if you're going to play your music loud enough for everyone on the train to hear, you might as well play something decent."
"Okay, my stop is next."
"...HOW DID I MISS MY STOP. THEY LITERALLY ANNOUNCE IT. *facepalm*"
"I'm going to take a bus from the Chinook Station to Chinook because I am not about to stand in the cold at that intersection, no sir."
"Oh, its Stampede season - be ready to be on full ass buses and be late every single day!"
"Bus Driver, can you just drop me right in front of my house please?"
"Oh hey, I reached my daily step target today from running after all those buses!"
"I need to get my license and a vehicle, ASAP."