34 Struggles All Second Cup Baristas Know Too Well
double the cup = double the struggles
It’s wonderful working for Second Cup! You’re surrounded by amazing coworkers (that usually turn into great friends), and the perks of free coffee/tea are something to be cherished (and taken full advantage of).
However, since baristas are also human (and not espresso-generating robots)—they’re bound to get annoyed every once in a while. I mean, there’s always those little things that can get under your skin at any job! Unless of course, you are a full-time fortune-cookie writer (I can’t see that ever NOT being fun). So here’s a list of 34 struggles that many Second Cup baristas (and other baristas) know way too well.
1. When there’s a lineup of people, and the one other barista you’re working with has to either go on break, or to the washroom.
Please don’t leave me ?!! Oh, you really have to pee? Hold it in!!!
2. When someone comes in ordering a frappuccino.
Well, we have something similar, but—we’re not Starbucks. That’s not on our menu.
3. “I’d like a moccaccino at 200 Degrees Fahrenheit”.
Enjoy your burnt milk!
4. When it’s snowy outside and you have to mop the cafe floor 234634873 times a day.
And regardless of the “Caution: Wet Floor" sign you put up, someone is bound to slip (and maybe fall). And 90% of the time, that person is you.
5. "Ew! There's cinnamon in here!"
You ordered a cinnamon swirl latte...
6. “Can you remake this drink for me?”
I would, but considering you already finished it all—what drink would that be? A$$hole.
7. When someone is angry that we don’t have cuzco coffee already brewed.
We have other blends available right now. I can make you a fresh cup of cuzco if you can wait a few minutes! Oh, still not good enough? I’m trying my best here!
8. When a customer tries to flirt with you during a busy “rush” period.
I’m trying to do 50 things at once right now! I don’t have time to think of a tactful way to escape this awkward social situation.
9. “Can I get a caramel corretto? but without the vanilla and caramel syrup, and make it nonfat”.
Huh?! So just a nonfat latte then?
10. “Hey, I’ll have the same thing today!”
Sorry, who are you? I mean, if you’ve only come in once before, I will NOT remember what you ordered!
11. When there’s a long lineup and a customer comes up to order and cannot decide what to get.
It’s called multi-tasking, people! You can stand in line AND read the menu. All at the same time!!
12. When every student that has ever existed comes into the store all at once.
Let me guess...you all want frozen hot chocolates?
13. When people come together and plan to order the same thing, but don’t tell you that ahead of time.
I could have steamed extra milk!! Please let me kill two birds with one stone ?!!! Also why is this a phrase?? So morbid. So cruel. Poor birds.
14. When someone orders an eggnog latte.
This sh!t is LOUD when it gets steamed. GOODBYE EARS!!
15. “Can I get a candy cane hot chocolate, but with heavy whipping cream instead of milk, 2 extra shots of vanilla, and a generous dose of caramel drizzle? Not too sweet though”.
16. Having to take out the trash, but it’s all wet espresso pucks (don’t ask me what this is--google it), so it’s heavy AF!!
I did NOT ask for this upper body workout!!
17. “Excuse me miss, can you clean off my table?”
*stares at gigantic lineup while stressing out about getting everyone’s orders finished*
“Oh yeah, sure” (secretly thinks, “f*ck you”)
18. When your coworker marks the cups incorrectly.
Oh so these 5 white hot chocolates were supposed to be with soy milk not 2%? ?
19. “Can I get a large orange spice tea—oh, I mean venti!”
Well, we’re not Starbucks. So large works just fine.
20. When a customer “sneakily” takes out money from your tip jar.
Oh HELL no!!!
21. “Over 5 dollars for this drink?! I’m not paying that!”
Okay, then don’t #byefelicia
22. When you run out of a popular syrup (i.e. vanilla bean).
Expect to get yelled at until a new batch arrives.
23. When you see a regular (that usually orders the same thing), and excitedly pre-make their drink to show them that you remember and appreciate them.
“Oh I actually want to change things up today”.
24. Customers wearing Bluetooth headphones/earplugs that say something , and you think they’re speaking to you so you respond…but they aren’t.
Customer: “Oh hi”
You: “Hi there, Sir! Crappy weather outside today, am I right?”
25. “Excuse me! I don’t want ANY foam on my cappuccino!”
Let me explain to you what a cappuccino is... or get a latte, you miserable tool (that was harsh…you’re probably not a tool.)
26. Waking up at ungodly hours for opening shifts.
I’m the only one awake right now. All alone in this cruel world.
27. Running frantically to the bank because you ran out of change in the morning.
Everyone loves to pay with 20 dollar bills, don’t they?
28. Scalding your hand at least 4 times a shift.
I feel nothing anymore.
29. Having sore feet at the end of every shift (cause you’re standing/running around the whole time).
Hello chair, nice to see you again. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to sit down.
30. “Can I get my latte made with raw unpasteurized Canadian mountain-goat milk?”
Nah yo. We’re fresh out of that.
31. When you end your shift with steamed milk stains all over you, coffee grind in your hair, and the scent of coffee shop deep within your pores.
I need a shower. Pronto.
32. People telling you that the coffee they get at some other place is so much better.
Good. Go there, then.
33. When it seems like everything that could go wrong, happens all in one shift, and during the busiest times.
Oh our espresso machine is broken? The blender’s acting up? And we ran out of milk?!?! ?
34. "Can I have a Christmas-themed cup?"
It's the middle of July (so... we don't have them at the moment).