So you’ve decided to move to Edmonton (and I applaud your choice). Regardless of what brought you here, you are one of us now.
However, with every move comes an adjustment period. So in order to help smooth your transition, I have compiled a list of things you can expect as a baby Edmontonian (and by baby, I mean new to Edmonton—if you are a baby and you can read this... I am seriously impressed).
You’ll be shocked by the sheer number of festivals.
You get a festival! You get a festival! Everybody gets a festival! Welcome to YEG, the Oprah for festivals.
You will get winded walking up 105th street.
So much for living in the "flat" prairies.
You will initially be impressed by the giant stairways leading into and out of the River Valley.
You: *tries to reach the top of the stairs to take a cool photo looking down the stairs*
You will shortly regret walking up those stairs.
Can't. Feel. Glutes. Cant. Breathe. SOS.
You will notice a lot more people own trucks here.
Big. Loud. Trucks.
You will be startled awake in the middle of the night by said loud trucks (and also motorbikes), especially if you live right in the city.
Your beauty sleep will take a hit. Your patience will be tested. You will experience rage. You will shortly fall back asleep.
You will find out immediately about the rivalry between Edmonton and Calgary.
Alberta’s two biggest cities love to compare themselves to one another. Edmonton is better though (sorry, Calgary). Am I biased? Completely.
Although you insist Edmonton is better, you will spend many weekends in Calgary too.
I feel like both cities have blended into one big family, whether people admit it or not. So they’re like two siblings that secretly love each other but constantly compete for their parent’s affection (the parent in this scenario is-- I have no clue…this analogy got away from me).
You will start bragging about the new Rogers Place hockey arena to everyone (especially in the presence of Calgarians).
*temporarily blinded by staring directly at its bright lights*
You will never fully figure out the streets in Edmonton (but that's okay).
"first head north on 1092812392817 and then turn on 34984723th Ave"
You will almost get hit by a cyclist when walking on the High Level Bridge.
You will almost hit a pedestrian when cycling on the High Level Bridge.
Listen to the bell people! And stay on the right side!!
You will know better than to speak ill of the Edmonton Oilers.
Do not bring up the fact that they haven’t had the greatest luck in recent seasons. Seriously.
And you will learn to address Connor McDavid as a God, and nothing less.
Every Oiler’s fan has their dreams and hopes clinging desperately to his skates.
You will secretly and not so secretly gloat about how Edmonton’s gas prices are cheaper than Calgary’s.
You will have the pleasure of being surrounded by live music very often.
Does everyone here play an instrument?
You will be amazed by the number of farmer’s markets.
*buys 10 different bottles of artisanal jams*
You’re going to be surrounded by a lot of active people.
Everyone: *jogging on a warm day*
You: *clicks 'next episode' on Netflix, and continues watching Stranger Things*
You will love flaunting the fact that you have Uber and Calgary doesn’t.
Oh, so you still need to spend money on expensive cabs? Sucks for you.
You will notice how friendly your Uber drivers are.
You get in the Uber expecting a ride. You step out of the Uber having made a new friend.
The weather will be brought up in every conversation.
People will complain about the heat. They will complain about the cold. They will complain about people complaining so much.
The winters in Edmonton will make you feel like you’re guarding 'The Wall' beside your buddy Jon Snow.
You will resent the fact that Calgary gets chinook winds and you don't.
Okay Calgary, I see you. You win this round.
You will need to plug in your car to a block heater so your engine doesn’t freeze.
You will want to plug your own body into the block heater to not freeze as well.
The lifespan of your winter boots will be gravely shortened.
So much snow. So much sand. It’s like the worst beach ever.
And -40 degree weather will sound normal to you.
Can’t feel your toes? Just another Tuesday!
Shoveling snow will become your main wintertime workout.
You may lose a finger from the frostbite but you’ll also lose inches off your waist #positivethinking.
You will learn a lot about oil.
You will go on several road trips to the Rockies.
You will always be shocked by how pretty it is there, every single time.
You will then have several photos of the Rockies on your Instagram page.
#mountains #nature #travel
You will become a pro at navigating through the hordes of people playing 'Pokémon Go' near the Alberta Legislature Building.
Or you will take advantage of all the lures, and get in on the action yourself.
You will try a donair.
You will then love donairs.
You will get involved in arguments about which restaurant/ shop sells the best donairs.
Is it Swiss Donair, High Voltage, Prime Time, Top Donair?
You’ll be amazed by the beautiful, tall trees lining nearly every side street/ residential area.
So many trees! So much Oxygen.
You will see a lot of trendy people on Whyte Ave.
Along with trendy clothing stores, restaurants, etc.
You will then start hanging out around Whyte Ave., to give the illusion that you are trendy as well.
“Don’t worry, you’re cool” -Mom
And finally, you will be amazed by how proud everyone is to be an Edmontonian.
There’s a lot of city pride. You can’t help but get swept up in it.