This message is brought to you by a chronic ghoster. Before I begin, I would like to offer a quick apology to all the men I have ghosted. You didn't deserve that, you can do better, it's not you it's me. Okay that sounded really cliche and insincere...but I mean it.
For those of your who don't know what ghosting is, here is a quick definition: ghosting is when one person (the ghoster) decides to suddenly cease all contact with another (ghostee) without any explanation or communication with hopes that they will just "get the hint" that the ghoster is not interested.
I have actually never been ghosted before. Probably because I always ghost people before I think they'll ghost me and I refuse to ever text first. I'm not even talking about sleazy Tinder guys. I am talking about legit guys who I have met, gone out with, had texting conversations with and then decided I didn't like them and completely cut them off without explanation.
I didn't use to care at all but I've recently come to the realization of just how mean and immature it really is. I want to do better and be a better person and with the help of this list hopefully other Vancouver girls will join me on this path to finding a heart. And don't worry guys, I'm sure karma is going to reach up and bite my face off any day now.
1. It will help you grow up and become more mature
I think a big part of why I ghost people is because I absolutely hate confrontation and tough conversations. Whether it's with my friends, family, coworkers or bosses I avoid dealing with issues like I avoid catching the flu. Telling someone why you don't want to see them or talk to them anymore is hard but will help you learn how to have a real conversation. This will be a great asset when you do get into a real relationship.
2. You wont be hurting people
I think being ghosted is my own worst nightmare. Making the fact that I have done it to others is messed up. I know that none of the guys I have ghosted in the past were that emotionally invested in me, but I imagine it still hurt. Anyone who just ignores you for no reason, whether it's a friend or someone you like is not fun.
3. If you want to be treated a certain way, you have treat others that way
If you want to be treated with respect you have to treat others with respect. I know that sounds cheesy but I think it's so true. If you want people to be honest with you, you have to honest with them and so goes for just being treated like a decent human being. Try to think about how you would feel if the roles were reversed, or if you have been ghosted before draw on that experience. Just because it has happened to you doesn't mean you have to do it to others. Generation Y would be a better group of people if we were all just a little nicer.
4. You will just feel better
The feeling of knowing that you did the right thing, is unmistakable. Whatever happens now is ok because all you did was be honest and responsible...well maybe not honest if you decided to spare their feelings, but you get the idea. Whether they decide to turn around and be rude because you hurt them, that's a them problem not a you problem. All you can do is your best and act with genuine intentions.
5. You don't have to worry about or feel stressed about them contacting you again
He's already hit you with four unanswered texts, a Snapchat message and a DM and every time a new one rolls in your heart palpitates and you're hit with a wave of guilt. People appreciate honesty and they'll be much more likely to leave you alone then if you just hope that they get the hint. Besides, maybe he feels the same way and you guys can be friends (I heard this happen to a friend of mine).
6. There wont be places you are uncomfortable going
You don't have to worry about running into him at The Roxy Sundays because it wont be awkward. Well, maybe a little awkward but not to the point where you have to leave or that you have to worry about him coming up and saying something to you. If you had the conversation, even if it was a crappy one, you are both adults who can exist in the same place for a few hours.
7. You never know what could happen
Maybe you don't want to talk to him anymore because you feel like he dominates the conversation too much. If you mentioned that to him he could have a really good explanation. Maybe he is just really nervous, maybe he thought you were quiet and that is how he filled the silence, or maybe he's just like that but it's something he is willing to work on. If you have that conversation he could end up your loving husband and father of your beautiful child. Who knows.
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