We’ve all been there, you meet someone, and right off the bat, y’all clicked. The vibe is strong, you’re feeling it, and then you creep them on Instagram — and that’s where all the confidence you had goes straight down your throat much like that Burt Reynolds shot you just took. You’re not surprised at all that this person has over 100K followers on Instagram and here you are with a measly 600.
Instagram Models -- they rule the internet. For real, there’s no denying that they have a solid self-marketing strategy that lines and hooks the unsuspecting. This is not a post bashing the Models of Instagram, rather a cautionary tale to those who may not know what they're getting themselves into.
Before you try to slide right into her DM’s, here are some things to keep in mind, and maybe you'll even reconsider your decision of wanting to date an Instagram Model.
1) She is 10/10 out of your League.
There is no other way to put it other than she probably has an extremely specific type and its not you. Don’t waste your time.
2) She got a lil bit of drama with her friends.
Her life is a real life episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
3) She has over 69,000 DM’s from random dude bros at all time.
If you don't treat her right, she literally has hundreds of dudes she can pull from. Especially the dude who commented "Nice Ass, Sugar Tits" -- you got real competition.
4) You will involuntarily become her photographer.
Life through a lens and a sweet VSCO filter. I mean, who else is gonna take a candid photo of her in front of La Casa Gelato wall?
Photo Cred - weheartit
5) She’s always on vacation.
She will blow you off to go to Dubai for like, 2 months and ghost the hell outta you while she sunbathes on daddy’s yacht. (Who’s daddy? We don’t know.)
6) She’s got expensive taste.
Her make-up routine probably costs more than your whole outfit. Also your sheets will be stained orange for weeks, probably.
7) She wont pay attention to you at dinner.
You will be the third wheel on your date. With Instagram Fame comes great responsibility! She needs to maintain her followers by updating constantly. Dinner will be fun though -- just you, her, and her Rose Gold iPhone 6 Plus.
8) She'll flip if you don’t like her picture.
"Babe, I’m sorry... isn’t 6738 enough likes on one photo??” Turn your post notifications on, son.
9) She's always promoting something.
Whether it's coffee scrubs, Triangl Bikinis (do people still wear those?), and Detox Tea -- She's always promoting her authentic lifestyle.
Also, Detox teas pretty much work as laxatives, so if you're under the illusion that girls don't poop, then she ain't the one for you, bruh.
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