Metrotown is BC's biggest shopping centre. With almost 400 shops and services its too easy to get everything you need (or want) in one place. Catering to so many different needs, it's no wonder Metrotown brings in the best and worst from the Lower Mainland.
Personally, I hate the mall and I try to avoid it at all costs. There is nothing worse then pushing yourself through the narrow hallways of a forever busy mall. Being such a huge mall, people come from all over the Lower Mainland to shop there, so there are always hundreds of people. The washrooms are never where you need them to be, lines at the food court are insane and don't even get me started about the parking. How I manage to forget where I parked every time I go to Metrotown is beyond me. That place is just so huge, I always get turned around.
When I go to Metrotown I am usually shopping for shoes or for something I need that I can't get downtown so the trips there are few and far between. My most recent trip for just that, I wanted to buy some photography gear that I couldn't get downtown. I went on a Saturday so it took me a few hours to recover from the experience, but it gave me the time to reflect and write this list of some of the many type of people you will meet at Metrotown.
1.The Kylie Jenner/Kim Kardashian Wanna-be's
These are the girls who have the notifications turned on for every time Kiley Jenner tweets something. They never miss a Kim K Instagram post and have seen every single episode of the Keeping Up With The Kardashians. They can generally be found window shopping at the shoe stores, looking for a pair or Superstars or Stan Smiths. Someone tell them they can't find them because they sold out last June, when they were cool and every other Kardashian look-a-like bought them up!
2. The Suburban Parents
I have many friends that are parents and I know it's not an easy job. Especially if your a single parent. I understand taking your kid to the mall if you need to run errands or pick up some milk, but taking you're kid to the mall to try on clothes just sounds like a horrible idea to me. I can barely stand being in the mall on my own, why would you ever want to bring a stroller with a 20 pound meatball on your hip?
3. The HYPEBEASTS
I recently learnt what this means. So I guess that means I'm probably not one :( Those kids that walk around the mall with the freshest Nike's you have EVER seen. Their outfits are totally on point and you know they just spent half the afternoon taking pictures of each other for their really dope IG accounts with 20k followers. The worst part is you know they didn't get anything they are wearing at Metrotown. It's all from their last trip to Asia where fashion is just too far ahead for Vancouverites to understand. These kids get it.
4. The Commuter
The convenience of the Skytrain and the bus loop being right at the entrance to the mall makes that one entrance the ultimate place to loiter. During the school years its usually the high school kids. They come in to get a Jugo Juice and maybe hit the Bluenotes to buy something they saw last week. Otherwise its your typical Skytrain commuter, heading home from a long day at the office downtown. Maybe the skytrain was too crammed, so they are killing time for a later one or they are just picking up a few things for dinner. No matter what they are doing, they are doing it slowly. I get you're trying to kill time but kill it somewhere other then where I'm walking!
5. The Downtown Hipsters
They are easy to spot because they are the trendy kids who have that perpetually lost look on their faces because they never come to Metrotown and they have no idea where they are or need to go. They can be found standing next to the tourist types at the mall map, frantically trying to find the closest Urban Outfitters/Behaviour/Planet. They generally walk around with one of those orange mall maps with them searching for the nearest Nike store. Its right by the entrance, duh.
6. The Downtown Basics
These girls can be found in Sephora, Forever 21, Aldo...but most importantly Aritzia. Actually they really only came because neither one of the two Aritzia stores downtown had that Wilfred shirt they have been wanting desperately. They obviously had to come all the way to Burnaby on the Skytrain to find it at Metrotown. The bad news is, the reason why they didn't have it downtown was because so many people already bought it. Don't be surprised when you show up to Caprice next week and your best frenemy is wearing the same thing. I warned you.
7. The High School Squads
The 16-year-old groups of boys and girls who come to the mall only to loiter. Since school is officially out for the summer this has probably gotten a bit worse in the last few days. These kids are pretty annoying. They leave a huge mess in the food court and they just stand around in large groups in the most inconvenient places. They obviously don't have money to spend so they are literally just there to hang out and annoy every one.
8. High School Girls
Yes, they get their own section because you know the type. You made have even been the type at one point, I know I was. The high school girls that are shopping with their BFF's and they just want to seem cool so bad so they talk like they are Queen sh*t of everything and act like they have all the money in the world to spend. As an ex-retail worker these were the girls who would come into the store, try on everything, make a mess, treat you like shit and walk out leaving you steaming mad and ruining your day.
9. The Guy Who Lives Right Next Door
Most of us only go to the mall when we have to, but this guy goes because its convenient. He is the guy you see wearing Jordan basketball shorts and sock in his sandals. He lives in that condo right near the mall so the walk over is really quick. The noise and the amount of people around don’t even phase him because he has spent so much time there over the years. This guy does everything at Metrotown, from grocery shopping to getting his hair cut. He knows Metrotown almost as well as he knows all the stats of his favourite UFC fighter.
10. My Gramma and Her Friends
Ok, maybe not my gramma because she lives kinda far away but definitely someones gramma because you know she's got to get her exercise and be social somehow. Grandparents just love malls in general. Usually you would expect to find old people at malls like Kingsgate on Broadway but like I said, Metrotown brings in the most unlikely characters.
11. The Customer Who Is Always Right
These people are everywhere but apparently Metrotown has a special breed. They are on some old school train of thinking that they should always get what they want from a retailer. You know its bad when you're not even the person helping this customer. When you're just trying to enjoy a day of shopping but all you hear is the ramblings of some horrible customer who is yelling at an employee. The employees don't make the rules lady, they just follow them.
12. The Wealthy Kids
There are a few types of these kids but generally they are young, carry really expensive purses and drive insanely expensive cars that have price tags as large as some peoples salaries. Some of them even have the million dollar homes to park their cars in. Part of the extremely wealthy population of young Vancouverites whose parents pay their credit card bills without batting an eyelash. Makes sense that they would spend a lot of time at the mall. If I had tons of money to blow I would probably shop a lot too.
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