September is approaching like a freight train with broken breaks and it’s the worst thing that’s ever happen to all of us. Days are getting shorter, the summer section at Walmart has somehow morphed into school supplies, and you recently received an email from your English100 professor about starting your readings beforehand. Your life basically sucks.
But if you're one of the 20,000 students enrolled at Douglas College there are some unique school struggles that hit close to the heart. From the library to the cafeteria, to the cashiers office, the only thing you're getting done in a timely matter this year is your mental breakdown from waiting in lines on the second day of school.
1. Class Registration. Enough said.
The number one struggle that all Douglas students know all too well is class registration. It is literally a nightmare. You want to take BIO1103? And you don't have pre registration? Forget about it you're number 72 on the waitlist.
2. The stairs in the concourse
Tripping up (or more regrettably down) the stairs in the concourse. This has happened to the best of us so don't be embarrassed. I just want to know who the hell decided to make the stairs so steep.
3. The smell in the Fishbowl
Situated right in the heart of Douglas, the fishbowl is a great place for hanging with friends and people watching. There are lots of tables for studying and a secret printer that not a lot of people know about. But let’s be honest - the smell in their is overwhelming. Whether it’s because people leave food in there, or the lack of air flow you can't stay in there for longer than an hour without feeling the need to shower.
4. Status Nightclub in general
You and your girls had big plans to hit up Republic and Caprice on a Saturday night. But before you know you it its 10:00pm, Becky is already sloppy drunk, and you're still in New West. So you decide to hit up Status Nightclub on Church Street but after just 10 minutes you're wondering why you ever thought this was a good idea. But it’s probably for the best considering no one was willing to pay that 40$ cab ride back home from Vancouver.
5. The academic counselling office
When you walk in there with a quick question about the drop deadline. And an hour later when it’s finally your turn, you're bluntly informed that everything you needed to know is posted online - but you could have sworn you looked everywhere. You’re never getting those 60 minutes back.
6. Being jealous of the students that get chosen to be in the DO campaign
That low-key jealously everyone feels of the students that get selected to be part of the DO campaign. What makes them so special? She's not even that cute. I have a cool origin story/academic plan/career path too ya know. Me and my 2 writing classes are definitely worth having my face plastered all across the city. *Hangs out near the Marketing and Communications Office for the rest of the semester hoping to get discovered.
7. The Tim Horton’s in the cafeteria
From the minute it opens, to the minute it closes - the line to get coffee at the Tim Hortons is consistently a ridiculously long wait. If you're running late for class and know you wont be able to make it through your psych lecture without caffeine you're best bet is to walk down to the Timmies or Starbucks at the bottom of the hill, or maybe just give up on your life all together. If you ever get to Tim Hortons and there is no line something is seriously, seriously wrong. Abort school now while there is still time!
8. The cafeteria
When you walk into the cafeteria, with the intentions of getting some healthy stirfry or a hearty sandwich, but you leave with a grease soaked bag of Tripple O’s. Blame it on the wafting smell, blame it on Aunt Flo, blame it on the a-a-a-a-a alcohol - no judgments here.
9. Parking passes
Do I even need to explain this one? First of all, you have to buy them in person and second of all everyone wants one. How can this system not fail? Last year they sold out in 24 hours and by the looks of it the line was 2 hours all day. I’ll just park for free and walk up and down the hill to my classes, thinking all the way how I should really start working out.
10. The line to buy textbooks during the first week of school
Alright alright I give up already just hand me the F.
11. The two campuses
You live in New West. You work in New West. Your entire life is in New West and you chose Douglas because of it's convenience and so you could roll out of bed 10 minutes before class. But apparentlty the Gods of life are not in your favour and all the classes you want to take (or that still have room in them) are on the Coquitlam campus. Now you're forced to take the bus for 2 hours, sometimes each way, for the rest of the year. Don't worry though...the new Evergreen skytrain line is set to open in early 2017...whatever that means.
12. The internet
I feel like calling this one a struggle is an understatement. It's more like a national crisis HOW OFTEN the wifi crashes at Douglas. Tech guys do you not know this is a College? That teachers and students need wifi in order to function? I swear this happens at least once a month for at least an hour. Rumour has it one time it happened during a final exam in the computer labs so the professor just called off the whole thing but you didn't hear that from me.
13. The reputation
Douglas has a reputation for being the certain kind of school that you only go to when you have no idea what you want to do with your life. I even referenced the common nickname of the school "Dougy Daycare" in the subtitle. But realistically over the past decade Douglas has made some positive changes and evolved into a much more respectable school. With smaller class sizes, more degree programs, affordable tuition, tons of student resources Douglas is slowly turning in to more of a first choice school instead of the ultimate backup. So next time someone chirps you about your college, just slap them in the face with a viewbook.
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