There is only one week left until the month of December is upon us, and you know what that means. Ladies, let the full blown Christmas basic bitch that's been bottled up January through November be purged out of your system!
From the cute Christmas socks to the peppermint mochas at Starbucks, from the ugly Christmas sweaters to lining up for boxing day sales at Aritzia, let that shameless inner childish, consumerist Christmas self take over.
It's time to dust off that J Beib's Mistletoe album and jump start the holiday feels. Here are 22 things that every basic bitch in Vancouver is guilty of doing during the holidays (including myself).
1. Obsessing over Starbucks red cups and holiday caffeine.
But seriously, have you even seen the Christmas cups this year?!
2. And of course Blenz white hot chocolate.
But Starbucks holiday drinks are still no. 1.
3. Not feeling guilty about busting out your Uggs as soon as Dec 1st hits.
What? They're warm and comfy, and I don't care if you're judging. Function over form.
4. Hunting for cute ugly Christmas sweaters every year.
"I know I already have one at home, but another one won't hurt" - says you every single year.
5. And then take cute selfies of you wearing the sweater.
You're definitely lifting the collar up to your face and tryna' look cute and cozy.
6. Writing a wish list to your S/O of everything you want for Christmas from Aritzia.
I want all the things!
7. Or simply giving Aritzia all your money because you can't wait until Christmas for that Mackage leather jacket you know you can't afford but are going to buy anyway.
Take my money!!!
8. Taking super cute, well edited, flat lay IG photos of your holiday drinks at your favourite coffee shop.
Prado, 49th Parallel, Buro, Timbertrain, Aperture, Milano. Okay Instagram queen, we get you like coffee with too much whipped cream and chocolate shavings.
9. Dragging your S/O and all your friends along with you to VanDusen Gardens Festival of Lights and/or Canyon Lights at Capilano Suspension Bridge just to take cute pictures...
They'll thank you later.
10. And then dragging them to the Vancouver Christmas Market.
11. Going on a ski/snowboarding trip to Whistler when really you're just thinking about how lit you're about to get.
12. Battling the great battle of trying to look cute but also strategically hiding the holiday pudge.
That's what ugly Christmas sweaters were invented for.
13. Not feeling guilty about blasting Justin Beiber's Christmas album in the car all December long.
Oh and let's not forget Mariah Carey.
14. Staying in, cuddling up with blankets and binge watching Bridget Jones, Love Actually, The Holiday, (insert all Christmas rom coms) on the weekends.
And reciting word for word every single line of the movie.
15. Raiding the shelves at Indigo/Chapters for all their cute holiday knick-knacks.
Furry blankets, fluffy white pillows, Christmas mugs...it's all a trap!
16. Spending all your money at Bed, Bath & Bodyworks on scented candles.
Because my room has to smell like candy canes, my bathroom like pine trees, and my kitchen like ginger snap cookies.
17. Going Christmas shopping for other people and ending up buying a million things for yourself as well.
Because if I'm going to be treating other people, I might as well treat myself too. Gotta love yourself, girl.
18. Going out to a Christmas party in heels and a sexy Santa dress even when it's 2 degrees outside and you're freezing your tits off.
Whatever, you'll be so drunk later that you'll hardly be able to even feel your tits anyway.
19. Getting a mani/pedi that's red, blue, white, silver, gold, and/or anything glittery.
20. Forcing your best friend to go on a double date with you at Robson Square to ice skate knowing full well that they don't know how to ice skate.
You're a bad friend. Jk, I'd probably force them too.
21. Shamelessly lining up for hours for boxing day sales at Zara, Oak + Fort, Sephora, Aritzia, etc.
And making sure you wear super thin clothes and leggings so it's easy to try things on without waiting for the fitting rooms. We know your tactics.?
22. Making future goals for yourself that you'll lose weight and get VS model thin after the holidays, while already knowing that you'll probably never work out.
What New Years resolutions?
23. Having no problem buying overly priced onesies and fuzzy pj's from Victoria's Secret.
I think I've drained my bank account.
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