The 5 Stages Of Clubbing You Go Through In Vancouver As You Get Older
1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila....floor.
As with any story there is a beginning middle and end. In this case the story starts sometime before your 19th birthday and ends with you shoeless at 3am on Granville St, looking for your friends.
The good news is you're not alone. We all have our party days but eventually all good parties must come to an end. If your still in your early clubbing stages then take this list as a way to prepare for your future.
Here are the five stages of clubbing you go through as you get older in Vancouver:
The Fake ID Stage
You borrowed your sister's ID and you just got past security at Caprice. You heard from your friends that this was a good place to get in if your under 19. Obviously you are way smarter then that bouncer. You know you gotta keep it low key because you don't want to get caught with a fake ID but you definitely want to have a good time. So have some shots and make sure you know where the exits are in case of emergency vomiting.
The Rookie Stage
You're of legal age now, you have your own ID and you've had a handful of club nights with your friends. You even have a part-time job now so you can afford you're new habit. You've gotten better at ordering drinks but you're still in the vodka cranberry stage and the only shot you know is a Jager Bomb.
The Novice Stage
You're probably finished school now, or at least you cut down to part-time classes because you needed another job to afford your new hobby. You also discovered what bottle service is, so you and 15 of your friends pay $20 each to look really cool at a table all night and get one drink each.
The Professional Drinker Stage
By now you are mid-20s and have made friends with pretty much every bartender at your favorite club. That means you're getting pretty well hooked up with drinks. The free drinks start flowing and the next thing you know it's tomorrow and you physically can't get out of bed for the next three days.
Photo cred - Giphy
The Retirement Stage
Congratulations! You are officially old. Gone are the days of bottle service and getting into the club for free. You are no loner a regular. You are now that annoying old broad that drunkenly tells every staff member that they "never go out anymore". News flash! We can tell by your four-drink-having-falling-on-the-ground-drunk ass. PS. that shoe you lost, may as well forget about it. It belongs to the club now.