Just thinking about winter in Halifax grinds my gears. Winter sucks everywhere but everywhere does not consist of living through winter in a place where there are too many hills, the roads suck and almost every time it snows it rains, just so we have a nice sheet of ice to wipe out on when we're walking to our frozen cars in the morning.
Winter can also be pretty majestic and fun with things like the oval, skiing and sledding - it's a point of pride for all Canadians to grumble about. Here are the things we love to hate on about winter in Halifornia.
1. The winter parking ban
This is one of the biggest struggles, having to find a way to get your car off of the road even if there's the slightest chance of snow or risk your car being run over by the plow or a nice ticket on your windshield in the morning.
2. Driving up the hills in downtown Halifax
You thought it was hard because you drive standard? Hah have fun sliding down into the harbour when winter decides to throw in some slush or black ice to the mix
Yes, shoveling sucks for everyone, even Non-Haligonians, but the interesting more shitty part about winter in Halifax is that our snow is 10x heavier to shovel...because it most likely rained immediately after it snowed and now you're in a race through time to shovel before it all freezes and your car is stuck in your driveway until spring.
4. Storm warnings
Every time there's a storm warning if you go to Costco or grocery store it feels like the apocalypse and everyone is running around screaming trying to prepare their kits for the end of the world.
5. Power outages
Living next to the ocean is windy. wind=power outages, power outages= no hot water, can’t cook, no netflix, twitter being blown up. Struggles.
6. Arguing if school/work should be closed for the day
Sometimes you just look out of the window and think “that looks awful! I’m not going out in that it’s dangerous! work should be cancelled!” and guess what, it’s not. Other times you look out of the window and think “what a nice day out!” work's cancelled...who makes these decisions??? And will people on social media ever accept closures vs. non closures? #canadianproblems
7. Your pizza delivery takes longer when the weather is bad
You ordered pizza because the weather is bad and you couldn't go pick up groceries, so naturally, you decide it's way safer if the pizza guy drives instead of you. But instead of the average 45 minute delivery time, it’s probably going to be an hour or so and you’re getting hangry. But did you ever think of the pizza delivery person's feelings? No you didn't, so remember, not all superheros wear capes.
8. Your mom makes you bundle up
No Hali mom is letting you leave the house when it's anything below zero without a winter jacket, boots, mittens, hat, scarf, two pairs of pants...and yes they will embarrass you in front of your friends and tell you to dress warm like you're in grade 7 in your not-wearing-winter-jacket rebellion stage.
9. Waiting in line when you go for a night out
In -15 halifax weather, ain't nobody got time for dat. But indeed, people make time, they still go, and freeze their tooshies off to get into the bars because Haligonians weren't raised quitters. And we're certainly not paying for coat check.
10. Taking the bus
If it's even slightly bad out, expect to be late.
11. Slipping in front of people
It’s going to happen. It’s going to be embarrassing. We live in a place with hills that aren’t always salted properly. Laugh it off and help people cross the street when possible.
12. Being socially isolated if you don’t know how to skate
Everyone loves the oval right? Wrong. People who can’t skate look at it as a ring of death that people skate around viciously and can’t stand when people get in their way. If you can’t skate in Halifax you’re often treated as an outsider and asked questions like “why can’t you skate is there something wrong with you?” There's nothing wrong with me, just a tad behind on being Canadian.
13. Social media blows up about the weather every second day
The opinionated opinionate all over social media everyday about the weather...we get it. It’s cold. Don’t worry the weather will do a 360 in an hour because it’s Halifax, but then they’ll be tweeting about it again. I will too, it’s the way of life here.
14. Winter tires
Weird they're called that because they go on in October and come off in April.
15. All of the beer gardens go away until the next season
R.I.P. Patio season, you will be missed greatly.
16. The salt stain on all of your shoes
Some places use sand, Halifax uses salt on the sidewalks to melt the ice so we don’t fall on our asses. The salt leaves a nice white ring around your shoes that may never be wiped off, I think most people accept their salty winter shoes now but for those who don’t, water and vinegar works like a charm.