38 Of The Funniest Things Overheard At Dalhousie University
Are any of these quotes yours?!
For the past little while a group of dedicated individuals have been compiling the most outrageous things they hear on Dal campus, sharing these conversation snippets with a Facebook group called Overheard At Dal that has close to six thousand likes – so clearly the material is pretty good!
We went through the last few years’ worth of posts to find the funniest moments Dalhousie students have eavesdropped on. Read through and find out if any of these golden quotes came from you!
1. Fourth floor stacks, guy finds an empty section and whispers to himself "fuck yeeeeeah"
2. Two girls chatting candidly on campus.
Girl 1: "We're like the Spice Girls"
Girl 2: "Is there Trash Spice? Because if so I'd be that."
3. Bromance in the Killam:
Bro 1: "BRO!"
Bro 2: "Yeah?"
Bro 1: "... You wanna go look at the moon?"
4. *Prof Simpson stops lecturing suddenly looking towards a student at the back of the class*
"Are you ok?"
*class turns to look at student*
Student: "she gave me a wet willy"
5. Standing in the line at Tim Hortons in the SUB. Person who's turn it is comes to the cash. He stares at the menu for a solid 20 seconds.
"Can I get a McMuffin"
6. "I have a fiver in my boob and thats it!" - Drunk girl walking by the bus stop outside Howe.
7. Overheard in the Killam:
Guy: the only thing standing between me and a six figure salary is a box!
Girl walking past that group: the only thing standing between me and a six figure salary is the wage gap.
8. Me and my boyfriend were walking down the street; this guy walks past and says "Sorry, I don't mean to ruin your magical night but I'm going to take a fucking piss in this bush. "
"Why's there a hill? Who built this city on hills?"
"Dude, Halifax is huge on hills."
10. A guy in a group of guys walking from gym:
"The thing is, I just can't cry sometimes. Sometimes my body actually can't produce tears."
11. Two dudes talking at the sexton library:
"Heads I go home and study, tails I go to McDonald's to get a shamrock shake and some chips"
12. Overheard girl on the 1 bus:
"I want to be pregnant but I don't want a baby"
13. In howe:
"5 people got laid on my birthday... and I didn't."
14. "Any birthdays out there today? ...Just kidding, be quiet. This is an exam." - Exam announcer this morning at Dalplex
15. "This highlighter's drying out... just like my libido" depressing statement from a girl in the Killam
16. "I wish I could infuse coffee into my eyelids so they'd stay open" - girl in Risley caf
17. Overheard in Ottawa at Keys n Krates concert:
Girl: Oh you went to Dal?!
Bro: Ya, best 7 years of my life...
18. Outside the LSC today:
Bro 1 in Birks and socks: Is it cold?
Bro 2 in Canada goose Jacket: Ye.
Bro 1: Too cold for deck beer pong?
Bro 2: Nah.
19. "This is incorrect. This would be the Saint Mary's way to draw the diagram."
20. Girl: I'll be Firemander for Halloween!
Boy: It's Charmander....
21. *Human Sexuality class*
Question: does love at first sight exist?
"Just think about pizza" -girl to her friend
22. Overseen at Dal: when the girl in front of you in class googles "sodomy."
23. "I feel like if I wear this shirt I'll eat things I don't wana eat."
24. "I could have banged my bean bag chair and had a better time." - guy in Killam
25. "I have his Netflix password, so you could say it's getting pretty serious..."
26. At the Risley dining hall:
"Chicken pot pie! My three favourite things"
27. "You know what would be cool, a dating site just for cats..." - overhead in Sexton library
28. "I wasn't flirting with you, I was touching your dick."
29. This happened last year but ill share it anyways.
Prof in lecture hall: "why didn't you guys read your notes last night?"
student yells out: "Thursday's the new friday!"
Prof: "and fifth year's your new fourth year"
30. Girl with crutches: "let's play truth or dare."
Friend: "I dare you to walk."
31. "I cheated so much in high school, now I'm like, shit, I don't know any of this stuff" - Girl in Risley cafeteria
32. "Wow, this is so high class! There's so many options!" - someone trying out meal hall for the first time
33. "It was really fucked up math! Like, Y minus X! That's the ALPHABET!" - Guy in the SUB
34. Overheard a girl Skyping in a stall of the main floor girl's washroom in the Killam...
35. "You need to raise your hand for an escort to the washroom, the fountain...or the jungle gym...well you shouldn't need to do that during the exam..."- exam announcer at Dalplex
36. "I made my dealer drive me home" - outside an apartment by the dentistry building
37. "Wait... Is Godzilla the monkey or the dinosaur?"
38. Girl in the Rowe: "The power point they made was really sexy."
*shows to guy*
Guy: "Wow, I'm aroused."