17 Surefire Signs You're Dating An Ottawa Fvckboy
We've all dealt with one whether we like it or not.
It's pretty clear that the term 'fuckboy' is here to stay. We all know one, have dated one, or are currently miserably dating one and soon enough they'll all just be stories to roll our eyes at or laugh with our future SO. But for right now, fuckboys are annoying and it's even more annoying that they won't admit it when they are one. Fuckboys are only good in a fictional sense, not in your real life or when you wake up with 10 missed calls from 3 in the morning. Here are 17 signs to recognize a fuckboy from a mile away so you don't have to waste your own precious time:
1. He insists on taking you to a movie at the Cineplex Cinema Lansdowne and VIP but wants to grope you the entire time.
Definitely wanted to enjoy this experience... definitely not now.
2. He asks you immediately after meeting if you have Snapchat.
I don't want a dick pic tho?
3. The only pictures he ever gets tagged in are from Barshots Facebook page.
Girl, if he's still willingly going to Tequila Jacks... run.
4. His hair looks like shit cause he's trying to grow a man bun.
There's a difference between homeless and hot. And if you're super lucky, the bottom half of his head is shaved.
5. He's always downtown. Always.
He doesn't live down there but he may as well. He's always in the ByWard Market for some reason and he's always with his 'boys'.
6. He's not over his ex yet he's still on every dating app/dating service.
You see him posting pictures of him and his ex gallivanting around Ottawa yet everyone tells you they saw him on a certain app or POF. *rolls eyes*
7. Every time you go out with him he runs into someone he knows.
Usually a girl, and the flirting is obvious. He's not flirting though, he just has a 'friendly personality'. Oh and he definitely won't introduce you either.
8. He won't answer your texts and then appears to be in Toronto or Montreal on Instagram.
Probably seeing an no-name, up and coming rapper that you wouldn't enjoy–his words, not yours.
9. Whenever you're upset about something he assumes it's because all women are crazy.
Literally no comment.
10. His go-to outfit is jeans with rips in the knees and a classic black t-shirt.
But he claims his favourite store is NRML aka his mom still buys his clothes.
11. He never actually asks you out on a date.
"Hey are you in the market tonight?" is his way of asking you if you wanna go home with him tonight.
12. He refers to Ottawa as the 'twa.
And definitely has a Drake lyric in his Instagram bio.
13. No matter what time of day it is, you can expect to go on Instagram and see him liking every girl in Ottawa's picture.
*So and so has followed missy1234, ottawabarbie69 and 17 others*
14. If he ever texts you first it's usually after 10 p.m.
Ohhhh that's right, he doesn't have to work tomorrow because club promoter jobs only happen on the weekend...
15. He never talks about the future unless it's about travelling to Thailand.
And to keep you interested, he'll say every once and a while that you should join him.
16. He'll randomly call you to ask what you're wearing, and then talk about himself the whole time.
His day consisted of waking up at 12 p.m., getting brunch with the 'squad' at Broadways and napping until 7 p.m. He's exhausted but don't worry, he'd never cancel on his friends birthday at JunXion Public House tonight. Your day was fine, though.
17. And instead of calling himself a fvckboy, he calls himself a bad boy.
First of all, bravo! Second of all, you're wrong. A fvckboy is the epitome of someone who doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself. And a bad boy is, well, Justin Bobby from The Hills or Caleb from Pretty Little Liars. Just gotta accept it, or change for the better (or for our sanity).
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