20 Things That Will Confuse The Fvck Out Of Anyone Who’s Not From Ottawa
If you need to find us, we'll be eating a Shawarma.
Some people you meet here in Ottawa are lucky–they're not from Ottawa. Okay, I'm just kidding. This city is great. But it's also really fun to poke fun at it every once and a while, it keeps the vibe light.
Our beautiful big but little city is the capital of Canada, which a lot of people think is Toronto. We're sick of hearing that, but we also totally get it. Ottawa is where you end up when your parents force you to move here, you go to school here, or a job puts you here. Other than that, we're all trying to get out unless you're one of the few that loves Ottawa.
So, here is a list of 20 things that only true Ottawans would understand:
1. You hate cyclists more than anything.
2. When someone isn't born and raised in Ottawa, you want to know exactly why they moved here.
Work. It's always work.
3. A part of you cried when Pier 21 closed down.
The best patio in the summer, tbh.
4. Why it took us this long to get a Chipotle.
5. When Bayshore Shopping Centre got a Forever 21 and an H&M, you celebrated.
No more road trips to Toronto or the states.
6. All of your pictures from high school involve a TNA sweater, lululemon pants, and UGG boots.
Don't forget the scrunched hair.
7. You call Ottawa the Shawarma capital of Canada.
It is, though. Get over it.
8. Going on a date means you reminisce on all the people you both might know.
Ottawa is way too small.
9. You like to say you shop locally... but you lie.
The Rideau Centre is a local shop, right?
10. You haven't skated on the canal in years.
We know what it looks like, been there done that.
11. Why Ottawa and Gatineau are sometimes considered to be the same city.
Don't ask questions.
12. When we say Ottawa, we mean the whole city. When visitors come, they mean downtown.
No one willingly wants to admit Barrhaven is in Ottawa, but it is.
13. You would defend your sports teams until the day you die.
At least the Ottawa REDBLACKS won the Grey Cup last year. Now we have proof we don't fully suck.
14. How we only really have two seasons.
It's either -40 or +40. Anything in between we just consider luck.
15. If you live in a suburb, you have a strong opinion on leaving empty fields alone.
Do we really need another grocery store? We already have 5 in 4 mile radius.
16. You consider a trip to Kingston a road trip.
Does an hour and a bit drive really count as a road trip? That's how far it takes to get from Barrhaven to Orleans in traffic.
17. You complain about tourists all year round.
Is Ottawa really an exciting place to visit?
18. Our love/hate relationship with politics.
We might be the capital, but that doesn't mean that's all we want to talk about. Unless it's solely about how pretty Justin Trudeau is.
19. Our non-existent beaches.
I mean, we have them, but we definitely don't like to brag about it.
20. Why it takes us so long to get trendy things.
Believe me, take this up with Trudeau. We still don't understand it. We consider trendy an expansion on a mall...
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