Dating in Ottawa is never easy. You either have 100 mutual friends (and you've also heard their name thrown around by multiple girls) or you know absolutely nothing about this person–which usually doesn't work out in your favour either. And if you're single and lonely, don't even bother signing up for Tinder. It will make you way less confident in the opposite sex–trust me.

Whether you're looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, you'll definitely learn that when going out to bars, you most likely won't find either. Now, I'm not saying this will always be the case. However, if you continue reading, you'll realize the types of guys to stay away from and the types of guys you may be able to bring home to Dad (if you met him at Tequila Jacks, don't even bother.)

Zaphod Beeblebrox

Age: 21-30

Occupation: Film director's assistant

Hobbies: Getting stoned, living off of coffee, pennyboarding/skateboarding, 'jam sessions' with his buddies

Looking for: A girl who isn't afraid to be adventurous (aka try new drugs), cool, meaningless tattoos, and should own at least a couple pairs of Vans and Converse.


Photo cred - We Heart It

Tequila Jacks

Age: 19-27

Occupation: Personal trainer (helps friends workout)

Hobbies: Idolizing Christian Guzman on Youtube/Instagram, taking way too much pre-workout, cutting the sleeves off of every gym shirt, spending too much time gelling his hair

Looking for: A short, blonde haired girl with a fake orange tan who is way younger than him, someone who looks in shape to fit his Instagram feed.


The Great Canadian Cabin

Age: 21-30

Occupation: Works for his dad's company

Hobbies: Going fishing with the boys, shops only at American Eagle, drives a crappy truck that he calls vintage

Looking for: Someone who can fulfill his 'old fashioned' needs, a girl who can be a housewife, someone to bring home to mom.


JunXion Public House

Age: 21-30

Occupation: Music producer

Hobbies: Only buying designer items, leases really expensive cars, being a huge d*ck to girls at first, always making sure he gets what he wants

Looking for: An Instagram 'model', someone who will brag about all the gifts he buys her, only wants a relationship for show.


Heart & Crown

Age: 19-30

Occupation: Part-time student, also works at Home Depot part-time

Hobbies: Hardly ever leaving Barrhaven, only Snapchats at the gym, never not thinking about his ex

Looking for: Someone who can make his ex jealous (who has clearly moved on), a small girl who can eat a lot, someone who has their own apartment so he doesn't have to bring her back to his parent's at 2AM.


El Furniture Warehouse

Age: 25-35

Occupation: Architect

Hobbies: Travelling, reading coffee table books about Italian Vineyards, interning for the experience

Looking for: The one, a mature, girl next door vibe, someone who is over the partying scene but still likes to have fun.


Photo cred - Pinterest

Patty Bolands

Age: 21-30

Occupation: Has a bachelors degree in Sociology but still works as a waiter

Hobbies: Drinking until they don't remember anything, partying every single weekend, only suggesting to meet girls at bars off of Tinder

Looking for: No commitment, and definitely won't save your number in his phone.


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