There's no question that the world's been obsessing over Jason Blossom's mysterious death and a topless Cole Spouse over the past few months. Riverdale's gritty modern take on the classic peppy Archie Comics is something we've all pretty much become totally obsessed with -- almost to the point that we actually want to be in Riverdale.
But, in many ways, our big small town resembles much of what Archie's home town is in the show. Here's what Riverdale would look like if it took place in Canada's capital:
Jason Blossom would be killed in Gatineau Park
Most likely on Lac Taylor.
Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe would be Elgin Street Diner
It's just as sinister-looking after daylight.
The Serpents would be a gang from Hull
Same thing as the Hell's Angels, right?
Fred Andrews would be building the O-Train
But the Blossoms would be getting in his way of being #OnTrack2018.
Archie would have a tough time balancing his love for Canadian folk music and playing hockey.
"Hockey gets you into college, Arch."
The Blossoms would live in Rockcliffe Park
How can you not imagine Thornhill being in Ottawa's most pompous neighbourhood?
Jughead would live at Cine-parc in Gatineau
Until he'd have to move into the Riverdale High janitor's closet. And to think Archie is the one with all the big problems.
Veronica's dad would be serving time at the Ottawa-Carleton Detention Centre on Innes Road
She'd most likely move to Ottawa from Toronto to settle down in her new life in Riverdale.
The Coopers have a grudge against the Blossoms for ruining their maple syrup company in Lanark County
The most Canadian grudge imaginable.