10 Toronto Oyster Bars That Will Literally Make You Have An Orgasm

All hail the mighty Oyster!

Photo cred- rmchampagnesocial

“Give a good person a good oyster and you’ll have em forever”

-Rodney, from Rodney’s Oyster House

People are never on the fence about oyster’s, you either think they’re gross and comparable to boogers or you love em. What’s not to love? Hard shell, smooth taste...These aphrodisiacs demand respect, especially those worthy of the praise.

Rodneys oysters

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Rodney's Oyster House

469 King Street West

Rodney’s plays the trump card on this one. It's pretty much an institution on King West. Great oyster selection and sauces to match. You can find 9-5ers sipping wine slouched over a plate of oysters any week day. Good service, great caesars, blah blah blah.

oyster boy

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Oyster Boy

872 Queen Street West

“The oyster is our world”. BAM take that world. They do oysters a million ways (oyster pot pie anyone?) and of course, the way we like 'em in all their briny glory: raw. Not a super fancy place but their oysters are a debatable runner up to Rodney’s.

john and sons

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John and Son's Oyster House

1 Balmoral Avenue

On the $$$ side but well worth the trip uptown, and all the pennies. They offer about 6-12 varieties of oysters depending on the season. Wear something fancy, preferably your sexiest monocle, and bring someone you’d like to bed. Sexy sexy oysters.

biffs buck a shuck

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The Céilí Cottage

1301 Queen Street East

A quaint Irish pub claiming to be so much more than an Irish pub. And it’s true this place is super awesome, especially there...wait for it… their oysters! Shocker I know. I bet you weren’t expecting me to say that. The shucker Paddy himself is a world-champion oyster shucker and wrote a book called “Consider the Oyster: a shuckers guide

 

starfish oysters

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Starfish Oyster Bed & Grill

100 Adelaide Street East

Same owner as The Ceili Cottage, this place bodes the same impressive skill set when it comes to doing oysters right. Patrick McMurray, Guinness world record holder for most oysters shucked per minute (dayyum 38 thank you very much) is kicking some (insert witty phrase) over on Adelaide street.

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Fynn’s of Temple Bar

489 King Street West

Who doesn’t love a curve ball? Especially when said curve ball is a bunch of free oysters headed straight for your mouth. Bet you didn’t see that one coming. Your welcome. On fridays. At 6pm. Until they run out. My head just exploded.

la socitete

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La Société

131 Bloor Street West

J’adore jeudi aka I Love Thursday. $1 oysters in the bar or lounge after 5pm. Bring your friends that sport suits and ties and speak in your most affected accent. Then proceed to act like life is hard and all you ever want is oysters and champagne.

Diana's

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Diana’s Seafood Delight

2101 Lawrence Avenue

“Eat oysters...love longer”. Interpret that as you will but we all know it’s the damn truth, especially Diana. A lesser known Toronto staple, this place has been around since 1979 and has lock on all the best oysters. If you’re serious about your oysters you should be ashamed if you haven’t been here. Shame on you. Don’t let words like “Scarborough” frighten you.

Snack bar

Photo cred - gentlementools

416 Snack Bar

181 Bathurst Street

Yup, I went there, and I’m putting this one on the list. Okay they don’t have much of a selection, or really any selection, as they’re only serving straight up PEI oysters, but hey, they are still tasty! Don’t be so judgy Toronto. If you can find a place to sit (as if), or more realistically a place to stand and be squished, order these babies and you shant be disappointed.

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Erin Wotherspoon Erin is a Toronto based writer.