As you reach the age of a 20+ year old, you may be at a stage in life where you no longer wish to engage in petty or immature relationships. Suddenly you are at an awkward age where many of your high school classmates are having babies and getting engaged, while the rest of us try to figure it all out. Now this can go for guys as well, though this is just a girl's perspective.

It's not that we are picky or feel we are too good for a guy. But we just need to feel like the relationship can go somewhere. We all have baggage, but some things are a little heavier to carry. Us girls also want to make sure that we don't waste anyone's time, as well as ensure that our time isn't wasted as well. Ultimately, we want a man with his head on his shoulders and his nose to the grindstone. So here's a checklist of things that will let you know if that cutie you've been chatting up has potential.

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1. Ambition and motivation are on the agenda

Nothing is sexier than a man with a plan. If you are someone with direction and focus, it only makes sense for you to want to be with a like minded person. Not everyone has it all figured out, but it's a good idea to have some direction.

A man who is too comfortable doing nothing with his life, and is ultimately ok with settling for less may not be looking for a long term commitment. Instead, they motivate you to follow your dreams and you do the same for them. If they ask you about your hopes and dreams and also share their own plans for the future, then they may just see you in it.


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2. Name calling is a no

Teasing each other can be cute. But not when it gets a little too personal. When he starts teasing in a way that attacks your character, such as jokingly calling you explicit names. Well, that may not be a good sign. He either doesn't like you like that or has no filter. A respectable guy would not call you profane names especially if they know you don't like it.

We are not in grade school. Maybe at one point in time it was cute to jokingly tease your crush. But when you have passed the age of immaturity, it's time to let it go. A girl wants to feel like she's worthy of being loved. Not put down by someones words. If a guy knows what to say to make you feel good, as well as knows not to say things that will put you down, then he respects you as a person.


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3. He is I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T

If he relies on his parents or even you to do EVERYTHING for him, that just says that he can't take care of himself. And if a girl thinks a guy can't take care of himself, then she certainly won't feel confident that he can take care of her. A guy who will work to pay his own way in life without looking for handouts is one worth keeping.

Everyone goes through a bumpy road and needs some help at times. But if it's a continued pattern of complete dependence, then you may need to cut them loose. It's hard enough taking care of yourself, no one wants a man child as a significant other. The weight has to be shared.


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4.  They do not feel the need to talk about previous relationships

They do not talk about all their previous hookups and failed relationships. If he's been around the block, that's cool. But he should be ready to start a new path if those relationships are in the past. If he can't let go it means he is not ready to move on, even if he says he is. If he is ready for you he will feel no need to look back.


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5. They are up front about how they feel

Playing hard to get only makes you hard to want. Both guys and girls are guilty of this one.  Some people may be too shy or uncertain to be up front. But if they play games, then they may just be wasting your time. A person who shows interest should just be upfront and consistent. They show their interest without being too eager or clingy.


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6. They keep the conversation going

Girls like to talk. We also like it if you have something to contribute to the conversation. Not to mention we get bored easily, so keep the conversation interesting. If they overdo  it with the corny catch lines. It may seem like they are looking for a quick hook up. If the conversation is natural, comfortable, not forced and they ask you questions about yourself, then they are actually interested in what you have to say.


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7. All eyes on you

Trust me, there is nothing wrong with finding others attractive. But if they're trying to make moves with every girl in the room, then just keep walking.


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8. Beauty is more than skin deep

Some people only care about looks. And let's face it, we all like to look good. When a girl gets asked who they are trying to look good for.  Know that it is for ourselves. Of course we may want to make sure we look especially good when our crush is around. But rest assured that we look good to feel good.

Choose someone who sees more beauty in you than what's on the surface. So if he is looking for some arm candy and can't see past your looks to discover the intelligence and wit, then they're not for you bro.


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9. They are not into the hookup scene

This goes to say that not everyone may be looking for a long term commitment. But make sure that this is clear in the beginning and that the feeling is mutual.

Relationships cannot be a one sided thing. And you surely don't want to waste someones time when they could be with someone who wants something more than just a midnight call. Once you both have the understanding that the relationship is more than just a booty call, then carry on.


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10. Their attitude says it all

If they have a tendency to be obliviously obnoxious and not even know it. Trust me, that is a recipe for disaster. If they are oblivious to their own behavior, they may be the same way with their attitude towards you. A person with a positive outlook on life may be just what you need to hold you down in this whirlwind we call life.

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