To the future guy who will love me,
I know that you probably haven't met me yet, but just know that what you're walking into is going to be a huge mess-- I am a huge mess. It's cliche to say but I'm not perfect, and I probably never will be. I snore... like really loudly and when I sleep I am not cute. In fact, I look like an ogre. I've been hurt by other guys in the past and the scars left behind by these men have changed me forever.
That being said, if you're still game despite what was mentioned above, here are just a few words I wish I could share with you, whether we make acquaintances in five days or five years, to minimize the damage you could potentially cause my heart.
I'm completely oblivious whenever people show me affection
So when you do realize that you do in fact love me, please don't fvck around with me through your mind games and just be straight up with me. If you love me for me then let me know, but if you're unsure and only like me for my ass then please don't make me think that this is real when clearly it is not.
Please be patient and be slow with me
Whether it be in terms of sex or the public displays of affection on the streets-- please be patient. This is clearly a new thing for me-- loving you. That being said, let me process what we are and who you are to me and once I'm fully comfortable with being with you I'll let you know how we should proceed. I'm not one to have sex on the first date but if you try to put a ring on it way too early then it's not going to work either. This is foreign territory with you and I want the right amount of time to explore it with you.
I'm a disaster, and sometimes you will hate me
...but please don't give up on me. There will be days when I'm an emotional wreck and will not know how to control my emotions and there will be days where I just won't feel like cuddling with you. I sure as hell am not perfect and I don't expect you to be either, but just know that despite all the fights that we will have and the times we will want to kill each other, that's all temporary and if I love you the same way you should love me, then that will never change.
Please take me seriously when I say that you get one chance and one chance only
I don't know about you but I'm pretty serious when it comes to my heart. If you decide to hit me or cheat on me with another girl then I'm sorry but I won't allow it. I won't allow myself to be the victim of your love, I won't allow myself to wait endless nights while you're with whoever her will be, I won't allow myself to keep accepting your empty sorrys-- I won't allow myself to cry because of you. So take me seriously when I say that once you choose to be a douchebag and hit or cheat on me-- we are through.
I will do my best to be the best girl you will ever love
I'll be there when you need someone to talk to, I'll be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll be there when you find a hilarious meme that you just have to share--- I'll be there. If you need someone there to just be there while you have a mental breakdown, I will. If you're stressed out and forget to eat, I'll be there with a sandwich ready for you to eat. If you treat me right, I will treat you even better because you chose to love me.
We'll be spending a lot of time together, but I also need time to be me
I don't expect you to hang around me everyday like a dog on a leash, and with that being said I totally respect if you want to hang out with the boys one night because I want to hang out with my girls as well. I don't want to be one of those girls who live and breathe their s/o's are with them 24/7/ At this point in our lives, we are still trying to identify who we are as human beings. That being said, my entire being will not be defined by my boyfriend and whether you stay in my life or not my existing relationships with my friends will never change. We will make time to be with each other, but I need to know how to be dependent on myself first.
You are not my number one
I will love you and treat you with the respect you deserve but you are not my number one. My faith comes first, my family comes second, my friends come third, and then there you are. Don't take it personally, but as mentioned earlier, my faith, family and friends have always been there and no matter how special you are to me, please understand that they come first.
All I want from you is your love, respect and honesty
I could give two fvcks if you earn $45 per hour, and if you can take me around town in an Audi. That's great, but I want a man who will love me and compliment my character-- not a sugar daddy. You don't need to try so hard because I don't ask for much.
If you can't accept any of the following mentioned above, then please don't lead me on
Because at the end of the day, my heart is on the line and quite frankly so is my time-- so please don't waste it. Let me know now if you're still in game or not because if not then the door is that way. I know it sounds like loving me is restrictive and a lot of work but it doesn't have to be.
At the end of the day all I want is for this to work. All I want is for us to grow together and make each other the happiest we can ever be. All I want is you.
---the girl you love
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