Hey! How've you been? It's been awhile, hasn't it? How's your mom, has she been doing well lately? And your cat, does it still even remember me? Anyway, I didn't write to entertain small talk. I'm writing here today to check in and see how you are.
It may or may not be my place but regardless of how much time has passed by, I can't help but wonder what's been happening in your life lately. I can't help but just sit in my newfound silence and miss your daily banter over what shit went wrong that day or how great your day was. It's weird how much you can miss a person when they're only a phone call away. But that's the thing--I can't call you on the phone the way I used to anymore. I can't just pop in and send a wave let alone say a simple 'hi'. I can't do any of the things I really want to do with you anymore and it really fvcking sucks,
We didn't end the way any of us wanted and to say that I regret letting you go is totally understated. But I can't just rewrite the past and redo our ending, in fact I don't know if I would because it means for you to be in a better place than you were with me then that's all the matters to me. We were good together -- we were perfect for each other, don't get me wrong, but you and I both can't deny that there was something that wasn't quite right. I was too busy and you wanted someone who shared the same goals and aspirations as you. Even to this day I just lay here and think of the different reasons for why we ended and to be honest I don't even remember how one minute it was just me and you and then the next it was just me without you anymore. We didn't end well, and I guess that's just one of the reasons why things will never be the same anymore.
I hope you're doing well and that you're one step closer to your dreams. Are you dating? If you are then I'm happy for you and I hope they're making you as happy as you made me. Don't get me wrong, I've learned to deal without you by my side and I can honestly say that I'm okay. I've moved on and even have someone new in my life but you will always hold a special place in my history that I will never get over. I've nurtured the friendship that I've had the honour of having with you and that you made me a better person whether it be when I was with you or right after we parted.
You will always be the one that I could have had it all with but didn't-- you will always be the one that got away.
Anyways, I just want to say that I think about you often and laugh at jokes I know you would have laughed at too. I hope you think about me too from time to time, and if you don't then that's cool too. I want to thank you for all the love and fond memories that I still reminisce on today and that although I let you slip through my fingers, I hope we can one day face each other and at the very least be friends. I guess what I want to say is that despite all that's happened between us, I want to say that all is good between us and that I'm thankful that you were in it.
I guess what I want to say is that I just really miss you.
Looking forward to the day we can meet again,
---the idiot who let you go
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