Dear Class of 2019, I welcome thee to the beginning of the best four years of your life. Clearly you're smart and fun, as you made the decision to become a 'Stang - but you still have lots to learn. Read on for some useful info that you likely haven't heard 9000 times from the authority figures in your lives:

Photo Cred: Tumblr

  1. Don't use the generic condoms the R.A.s give to you.

Yes, I understand: you're a university student now - which likely means you a) are broke and b) want to have a lot of sex. So, free condoms seems ideal right? Wrong. These condoms are awful. They are cheap and break easily. Suck it up and buy some Trojans.


Photo Cred: tumblr

2. Unless you have a stellar fake I.D., don't bother with the bars until you're legal.

This is for two reasons: 1) house/dorm parties are fun and don't require starting a tab. Once people start turning 19, they'll happen less frequently. Cherish them while you can. 2) Unless your fake is has an uncanny resemblance to you and is real (not a hack fake ID from a back alley on Queen St.) getting into most bars will be a hassle. We especially want to warn you about a bar on Richmond Row that rhymes with Tack's.


Photo Cred: The Ceeps Facebook Page

3. But when you do...go to Ceeps before 9:30 p.m. for Therapy Thursday.

Yes, it's annoying. Yes, it's necessary if you don't want to wait in a line for an hour.


Photo cred: AnneGrier98

4. The $1 beer at Jacks is disgusting.

It's literally bottom-barrel beer. But, get drunk enough and you won't give a fuck. It's a dollar, don't tell me you were expecting Czech pilsner quality.


Photo Cred:Jeremy DeMello

5. Don't tell people you're in Ivey or "Pre-Ivey".

Unless you are starting HBA 1 in what is technically third year, you are not. Sure, maybe you've achieved AEO status, but this is nothing. Pre-Ivey does not exist. Don't make it a thing.


Photo cred: Authors own

6. If you can, take Human Sexuality 2075 in second year.

You get tested on sex positions and learn about how to make yourself perceived as more attractive. It's fun and interesting. Also, if Fisher is teaching the course make sure you know about the studies he’s conducted: he likes to make exam questions about himself.


Photo Cred: imgur

7. Pita Pita by the Western gates is bless up for post-dorm party drunk food.

Their shawarma fries are HEAVEN. And their portions are huge. It's even more ideal because it's not downtown, aka where all the other drunk food places are.

Photo cred: YouTube

8. Most of football players/varsity athletes live in Essex.

This means parties. Since it's closer to most training facilities and gyms, varsity athletes are normally assigned rooms here. If you make friends with them, you'll always have a party to go to. Seriously, the football parties are nuts (and very easy to obtain access to if you are a girl).


Photo Cred: SportDad.ca

9. Don't feel bad chirping your friends who went to Queens.

They chose to go to Queens. Nuff said. They deserve it. And chances are they own one of those tacky "Wuck Festern" shirts. It's only fair.


Photo Cred: Empty Net Sports

10. Western has a rep as a party school filled with rich kids...

This is true. And somewhat justified. But honestly, what people don’t tell you is that you will meet some of your lifelong best friends at Western. And they just might be the rich kids from Oakville. Or maybe they’re the international student from Bermuda. Go out of your comfort zone and expand your horizons – cheesy (and you might hear it from your parents, whatever) but true.

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