There is a certain type of art to getting wasted casually, but some people just don't get it. Along with Toronto's cultural mélange comes it's diverse bar scene. Some of the people you'll meet you'll love, others you'll despise - regardless it comes with the territory. Toronto bars are nothing but unique along with the drunkards inside them.
If you've ever been out and found yourself judging the people around you (no shame, we all do it) this ones for you. These are merely a handful of the Torontonians you are sure to meet in a bar.
1. That one person who highjacks the music and gets the DJ to play the same song for 45 minutes.
If you choose to spend your hard earned money controlling the music all night instead of spending it on alcohol, you're a disappointment to everyone at the bar. Song requests aren't a thing anymore. Please stop and reconsider your life choices asap.
Photo cred - Giphy
2. That couple dry humping in the middle of the dance floor.
Why? Like who made you this way? In what world do you think it's socially acceptable to have full blow, X- rated, National Geographic animal loving in public? You're one of the reasons why most of the people at Tequila Jacks and The Brunny are drinking heavily.
3. The person who wants to do shots the second you walk through the door.
Maybe some people like to get tastefully belligerent after work and aren't interested in tequila shots during happy hour. Maybe some people like to get four or five drinks deep before shots ensue, did you ever consider that? Yes, we know Lou Dawg's has great drink specials but no one is interested in jager bombs at 6 p.m., ever. Some of us like to get gracefully smashed.
4. That guy who judges your drink choice.
Maybe some of us are perfectly fine with our $4.50 glass of bar wine, what's so wrong about that? Getting completely blackout drunk on a Monday night takes both talent and smart spending. Not all of us can afford to go to BarChef and ball out on a single cocktail.
5. The girls who laugh/scream after everything.
Relax, you are not that drunk yet and you shouldn't be allowed to get wasted in public until you learn that this is simply just annoying. On behalf of everyone at Lost and Found, it would be greatly appreciated if you stopped this and go home.
6. There's always a group of older women in tight, bright coloured dresses.
And yes 20-something women, they are here to steal your men (you know what bar we're talking about).
Photo cred - Wiffle Gif
7. At the same time, there's always one random old guy lurking around the dance floor.
And yes twenty-something men, he is here to steal your girl, but I mean actually steal. Like potentially call the police and file a missing persons case kind of thing - here's looking at you Gracies.
8. That person who becomes overly touchy.
There's always one guy whose hands just start grazing everyone's hips. "Oh it's crowded in here," he responds, when in all actuality it's 8 p.m. and the bar is half empty... We know your game Mr. Handsy.
9. Those guys who are obviously in a fraternity (okay we get it).
As if the Greek letters printed on your white t-shirt weren't enough of a hint, the backwards baseball cap and lingering beer foam in your patchy facial hair gave it away. We get it, you're in a fraternity, but let's save all the bro-ing out for later. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone at The Maddy actually cares if you're in a frat, so please go chant your "alpha, circle with a line through it, upside down triangle, kappa something or other" elsewhere and save some beer for the rest of us.
10. That one person who tries to be in all of your pictures.
For the love of alcohol, please let young women take pictures free from your funny faces or bunny ears so they can prove via Instagram that they actually went to *insert the name of any and every bar that hosts a student night*. You're obviously ruining everything.
And when worst comes to worst, just keep drinking till you forget these people were even there.