Singlehood is often given such a bad rap; people seem to think that all single females in their 20s are living some sad, pre-Prince fairytale, sitting alone and forlorn, just waiting for a savior in the shape of something tall, dark and handsome.
These people have never met a Toronto single girl.
Maybe if we were living off in rural Ontario where getting married and popping out a couple of kids is the way to spend a Tuesday, a dashing man and a down payment on a house would be the priority.
But single Toronto females are not looking for saving. Those smug relationship kids may downplay the joy of being single in this city, but let’s be honest: Toronto girls are too busy to ever be bored, too independent to ever be lonely, and too goddamn beautiful to ever settle for anything less than relationship perfection.
Plus, we’re so busy having fun, we probably wouldn’t notice Prince Charming if he rode up and stuck his dapper little tongue right down our throats.
Toronto is a playground for single people, and single Toronto females have it best of all.
1. Toronto single females collect experiences, not men.
There’s a reason why all your friends in relationships always look at you in envy when you regale them with stories of that casual Tuesday drink that turned into you almost being arrested for making out with a Drake bartender on one of those giant Harbourfront tourist pirate ships at 3am…
...because they’re damn envious.
Considering being, “taken” is often pitched as the ideal, those relationship kids can sometimes seem just so… boring.
You’re apt to notice a single girl in Toronto because she's the one out and about all the time, looking like she’s consistently having the time of her life. She knows when she's 70 years old, having slept beside the same human for 35 years, she'll look fondly upon all the messy, silly, heartbreaking, hilarious stories for what they are: the experiences that mold and defined her as a person.
2. The CN Tower is big enough to hold all your dirty little secrets.
Photo cred - Tumblr: violet-meadows
If it’s one thing that’s key to being successfully single in Toronto, it’s anonymity. In case you haven’t noticed, this city of ours is one massive sprawling beast, divided into neighbourhoods that have little to do with one another, and attract wholly different types of people.
This means that the outside world gets to know as much or as little about your life as you want it to.
Have a terrible first date at Weslodge on King Street West? You’re unlikely to run into Mr. Ego-bigger-than-his-bank-account anywhere on Ossington. Accidentally wake up next to Mr. Good-for-right-now only to realize he’s actually Mr. Still-lives-with-his-parents-and-dear-God-that-was-one-awkward-breakfast? You’re sure to never run into him or his mother in Leslieville.
Point is, the vastness of this city equals one thing: FREEDOM. Make all the mistakes, fun or bad decisions you want. All Toronto will offer is a knowing wink and a gentle “Shhhhhhh…..”
3. Two words: Sex shops.
Sex stores in Toronto aren’t those sketchy, blacked-out windows, XXX-postered places you see off the highway in the outskirts of Ontario. No, we have sex stores that empower and encourage a healthy sexual appetite in women: places like Come As You Are and the Condom Shack on Queen West, or female-centric spots like Good For Her on Harbord Street.
Learning to appreciate your own body and take care of yourself is one of the best things about being a single woman, and nowhere supports you getting yours more than Toronto.
Mr. Right is just a couple of AA batteries away.
4. The Tinder game is alive and well here.
If you want an amusing time that doesn’t require batteries, enter Tinder. This isn’t some weak suburb Tinder game that is just a loop of the same tired 12 single males in your neighbourhood. Nope, Toronto is so large and diverse you can swipe right in hoards.
App dating isn’t for everyone, but a little photo creeping and ridiculous midnight conversation is a fun, flirtatious distraction that doesn’t require you ever leaving your PJ's and Netflix date night.
5. Bay Street suits? Check. Queen West Hipsters? City Place Bros? Check, check.
When the novelty of playing a game of Hot-or-Not on Tinder wears off on you and you actually want to meet people in the flesh, Toronto offers a trail-mix of potential bachelors.
This city never pigeonholes you into one group of men. There are so many people in this city and so many neighbourhoods to explore that you are free to test out all the different male waters.
And Toronto grows with you as you move through phases. Over the jock scene that stumbles out of The Madison every Thursday night? Get your inner foodie on and meet an aspiring film editor at Patois on Dundas West. Even when you think you’re sure you know what your “type” is, Toronto has a way of surprising you, usually in the form of a tattooed, man-bun’d bartender.
6. Toronto is the home of ALL the professional sports teams (for you know, eye candy purposes of course).
Show me a Toronto girl who hasn’t at least thought about dabbling in land of professional athletes. Even if a bearded bohemian babe is more your speed it’s hard to deny the art form that is a broad-backed, tight-butted hockey player or a tall, lean basketball player.
And Toronto has them ALL: being the home of professional basketball, hockey, football, soccer, lacrosse and rugby teams makes it near impossible to walk downtown for a block without being bowled over by some beautiful athletic specimen.
Even if you don’t find yourself reduced to spending your 3am last-call at the Underground Garage trying to lock down a Jay’s pitcher or adding “aspiring puck bunny” to your dating resume, Toronto being the home of six professional sports teams makes for some solid eye candy and a great place to meet bros of all ages, shapes and interests. After all, even those bearded hipsters aren’t above hopping on the Toronto sports bandwagon (you know… just to be ironic).
7. Not a fan of athletes? Not a problem, we also have ALL the artists.
Photo cred - Goodreads
Ok so fine, you’re not an ass girl, and you accidentally yell “Touchdown!” whenever someone scores a run in baseball. Cross athletes and sports lovers off the potential date roaster.
But Toronto is also front and center in the Canadian film and music industries. Between the artists, poets, musicians, chefs, actors and models (ok I just threw this one in for the visual), we are a city ripe with talented humans.
And if you’re not the type of single girl who’s going to shove her way to the front of the crowd at Horseshoe Tavern to get that cute Arkell’s drummer’s attention, the hundreds of live music venues, live shows, festivals, art galleries and restaurants that encompass this city make for a proverbial melting pot of scenes to meet interesting men.
…You know, the type of dudes who might even not look at you in utter dismay when you ask, “When is halftime?” during a hockey game.
8. We’re all too damn busy to have to worry about someone else’s feelings.
See above. Between working enough to pay Toronto’s insane rent, hitting up new restaurants, making it to weekend festivals, blindly supporting our sport’s teams and spending much-needed time with friends who even has time for more than casual encounters these days anyway?
Navigating Toronto in your 20s and balancing any sort of serious relationship involves necessarily compromising on another front. Leave that to those 30+ kids; Your 20s are meant to be lived a little selfishly.
Scrap the need to settle down. Singlehood = only having to make time for yourself.
9. Because no one knows what a strong, badass female you are quite like your friends, and you get to spend all the time you want with them.
So maybe you’ve dated some all-around fantastic men. Maybe those relationships even ended amicably and you look back on the experiences you shared with them fondly. But regardless of how nice he was or how good the memories are, they will always be just a little clouded by the fact that it didn’t work out.
You know what memories never get tainted? The one you share with friends. Climbing the fence at Sunnyside pool on Lakeshore and skinny-dipping with three girlfriends will always be a hilarious. The ol’ “I’ll just have one” ending with waking up on a park bench in Trinity Bellwoods at 6am holding your best friends hand is always going to make you laugh.
Single females in Toronto get to concentrate on making memories with the people they know are going to be around for the rest of their lives.
The other urges? Well Tinder, vodka or a vibrator can take care of those.
10. Have you actually SEEN a Toronto girl? It takes one mighty and deserving human to lock that shit down.
Photo cred - Witty + Pretty
This one speaks for itself. You ladies are all so stupidly beautiful.
Walking across any Toronto street on any given day, 99% of the time I check out vastly more women than men. There’s just something about a Toronto girl’s swagger. So own it my fellow females, and don’t put up with someone who doesn’t appreciate you for the wild, confident, spicy little minx you are.