In a city that runs on coffee, Baristas pretty much rule the world. Think about it; you smell those coffee beans grinding and your pupils dilate, your heart rate quickens and you become a beast out of Game of Thrones waiting for that americano. You turn into a toddler again when you wait an extra 30 seconds for your shaken passion ice tea. Just the word London Fogg has the ability to bring you the kind of unusual happiness you can only find in a Styrofoam cup? And who is the magical wizard making all these drinks behind that roaring espresso machine? The barista.
That means that they deal with us pre-caffeine, pre-iced tea, pre-whatever frozen chocolate covered frap we're ordering that day - and we all know that's not pretty. But even caffeinated people like their coffee fix in certain ways, and to each their own! We're not here to judge, and honestly? If someone was walking down Younge with an IV dripping a flat white I don't think any local would really be surprised. Here's some of the strangest things that coffee lovers have done to get their fix. Four (espresso shots) for you, all you caffeinated Glen Coco's of the world.
1. "Cappuccino no foam"
Ummm so you want a latte?
2. "Last summer when I was working as a barista this one teenager asked me if I could make a dick out of latte art. I did it and he proceeded to snapchat it to all his friends."
Do it for the snap.
3. "It was during exam season, and someone came in and asked how many espressos they could get. They ended up getting seven.....took me a second to realize they actually wanted them all in the same cup. My manager came out after and told me that the legal limit we're allowed to serve is six."
Genuinely concerned for that customers heart, don't try that shit at home.
4. "Someone asked for salt for their coffee."
Taking salty or sweet to the next level.
5. "There is a regular who gets the caffe misto. A venti size and she LITERALLY gets a drop of coffee. A single millimetre in her cup and gets the rest steamed milk."
She's not fucking around when she says light coffee.
6. "A student came in and asked for an americano and an espresso. When I gave them the espresso they literally took it like a shot at the bar, said they needed the caffeiene because they had a paper to write."
Bottoms up I guess?
7. "Quadruple esspresso over two (no more no less) ice cubes."
No funny business here, they know what's up.
8. "We offer a homemade iced tea with a scoop of lemon gelato in it, but they didn't want that so they ordered an iced mint tea (literally a tea bag in cold water because we didn't have any mint tea that was brewed and cooled) with a scoop of mint chocolate chip gelato. essentially mint gelato in a cup of water..."
We ain't screaming for that ice cream.
9. "Quad espresso with one long shot, blended with ice and 10 Splenda."
10. "A lady came into our coffee shop and didn't know which coffee she liked or wanted so she made me take a spoon and hold it up to her nose while I let her sniff a few beans of every single of the 30 coffee types we had. Then she bought none."
Girls gotta know what she's buying.
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