Photo cred - cleanbodyfreshstart
Toronto is home to many many vegans and what they lack in protein they make up for in modifications at restaurants.
We all love to hate vegans, but jokes aside, deep down we all know they are nice people, just a little misguided is all. Most sane people learn at a very young age to mistrust anyone who doesn’t eat bacon. The vegans missed out on this advice and are doomed to eat lettuce for eternity. (That’s all they eat right?!)
The truth is you can’t get by as a vegan just anywhere. What with all the dietary restrictions and specific lifestyle needs. A vegan demands a lot. Who are we kidding vegans don’t demand things they whisper. Enter Toronto. An awesome city filled many amenities to help a vegan out because we all know a vegan or two. Remember that time your vegan friend asked for a side of daiya cheese and publicly shamed someone for littering? Well I sure do and while we're at it here's a whole list of other things that vegan friend of yours did too.
1. They go to Fresh
Fresh is a mecca for vegans. Every vegan wants to eat here, work here and live here. Vegan friends, and subsequently “healthy” friends suggest going here ALL THE TIME. It’s as if no other options exist. But actually they make really good tofu, that’s the real reason.
2. They never admit bean sprouts are tasteless
They don’t mind paying for overpriced semi-delicous food from urban herbivore. “It’s not that good, but its vegan!” is what everyone is thinking but no one is saying. Too many tasteless bean sprouts and one too many roasted red peppers. Though your vegan friend will never admit it.
3. They're too gung-ho about all things vegan
They support any and every vegan establishment in the city. Doesn't matter if the sweater is ugly as fuck, if the shoes are hideous, if the "its not butter its vegan" spread tastes like shit, so long as it's vegan we are going to smile and nod and pretend it's all good. Quality aside these vegans are standing beside each other till the bitter end.
4. They ask ridiculous questions
They go to poutine places and ask if the gravy is vegan. Just...no. (And why the fuck are you at a poutine place anyways?!)
5. They make absurd requests & don't think they're being absurd
They go to Poutineville on All You Can Eat Poutine night and say outrageous things like “Can I order mine without cheese, gravy, and meat, and can you check what oil your using to cook the fries, oh and could you dim the lights a bit.” Your vegan friend has this amazing ability to remain completely oblivious to line ups, increased irritation, and everyone else’s embarrassment.
6. They go the distance
They shop at the big carrot even though is miles and miles away from everything. That’s commitment. I bow my head in awe of you.
7. They put up with crap food
Let's be real, Freshii is a load of crap. It's JUST lettuce.
8. They have dreams of grandeur
They're always talking about some vegan anarchist self-sustaining do-it-yourself built with adobe bricks bike tour that's happening soon.
9. They think shoes are optional
They feel most at home barefoot at the farmers market asking questions like "are those mushrooms freerange, man?"
10. They take the fun- I mean cheese out of everything
They order a salad (shocker I know) and much to their dismay there is shredded cheese in it. I repeat there is shredded cheese in it. Send back up, call for help, phone a friend or more realistically watch as the vegan painstakingly picks each individual sliver of cheese out of the salad.