Photo cred - borntoberespected
For some, drinking is a sport. For most Toronto girls it’s an excuse to lose your shit, go bloody insane, be sluttier, and try not to die a horrible death in front of a streetcar. Though that would be quite the legend.
When girls get drunk, stuff happens. And based on what kind of person you are in real life, you act a certain kind of way in drunk life.
Some say when you’ve had a couple drinks the truth comes out. Well let’s hope and pray that isn’t really true, because if it is, you and all your drunk friends are horrible people (myself included. Actually, I’m top of the list).
So which kind of drunk girl are you? Time to find out.
The Professional Partier
This girl knows what’s up. She has a slew of invitations to a million different parties at any given time. How does she have so many friends? Words like pre-drink and kegger are her vernacular of choice. Usually has a bikini on underneath her barely-there shorts. Can be spotted in the shower, in her bathing suit, doing gods knows what and who the fuck knows why.
Photo cred - fxrensicate
The Fucking Boring One
This is the girl who is apparently allergic to fun. She’s naggy as fuck and really wants to make sure you catch the subway in time. She “knows her limit and stays within it”. Bleh. LAME.
Bottle Moocher on a Mission
This is the girl who loves free shit. In sober life she just expects it, in drunk life she goes the fuck after it. Any bottle is fair game with this biddy, she’s sticking to everything, vodka, warm beer, whatevs. Her standards aren’t her strongest suit.
Floppy, Fucked Up and Falling
This is the girl who gets sloppy, and quick. Sentences like “didn’t she just have, like, two beers?” are overheard frequently when this girl’s around. Usually petite, and thank God for that because she usually needs to be carried home, this girl has no tolerance and no limit. More of a liability than an actual good time. If it weren't for her gaggle of girlfriends taking care of her she would surely wind up in a dumpster. Oh, and of course this is the girl who always decides to wear heels.
Raging Table Dancer
This girl has her mind on one thing and one thing only: dancing on a table outrageously. With a one track mind, this girl will do anything to get to a table, push random strangers out of her way, verbal threats, assault, I wouldn't put anything past this gal's desire to look sexy on a table so everyone in the room can see her. Sounds like she’s got her priorities all figured out.
Photo cred - hohaveda
“One minute you here talking to all those guys and then when I turned around you were gone”. Ah, this girl. Forever a mystery what happens to her, though she has an amazing ability to always make it to safety. Whether it be an ex-boyfriends house or her own house, she always makes it out alive, although where she disappears to in between is still a little blurry.
The Girl Who Ends Up Crying
Doesn’t matter what or why, but anything can set this girl off. She is like a ticking time bomb, it’s just a matter of time before the tears come out. She’s usually having a great time and suddenly she takes a dark turn and out of nowhere she’s a sloppy mess and in serious need of a boy to cry on about all her life’s problems.
The Pseudo Lesbian
The girl who likes girls when she’s drunk. Is it a show? Who knows. This girl is down to make out with any hot and willing bitch. Preferably a blonde and someone with a nice ass, this girl knows there will probably be people watching, so why not give the best looking show?
The Biter & All Things Vicious
This is the girl who gets seriously mean when she’s drunk. Apparently she has a vendetta against humanity after a couple rounds of tequila. And watch out. No, seriously be careful, this girl could kill. Can be found doing an assortment of things like throwing candle wax at her friends or throwing a boyfriend into a full length mirror. This girl is especially mean to the one person who is trying to help her down the stairs.
The Crazy One
Next level insanity this is the girl who winds up in the weirdest places with the weirdest people making really bad decisions. Or good decisions (depends who’s asking). A blessing and a curse, sometimes this girl winds up on the back of someone’s jet ski crossing the ocean and sometimes she ends up in the hospital for reasons unknown.