To the average outsider, Canadian speech can be difficult to process. Yes, it's English, but there's something a little bit off about it that makes it seem like a completely alien language to even the most versed of Anglophones.
But that very distinct way of speaking is a big part of being Canadian. Here are 10 ways to talk like a true Canadian:
1. Conclude most (if not all) of your sentences with a quick and non-aggressively interrogative "eh".
This is perhaps the most important rule of Canadian speech.
2. When describing a location, it is common to omit the word "the" before it.
I'm not sure why, but some of us Canadians actually do this. For example: "She was sent to hospital due to twerking-related injuries."
3. On the subject of educational institutions - College is not used interchangeably with University as it typically is in America.
You either go to a college or a university.
4. For the truly committed: shift your vowels ("Canadian raising") and emphasize on unlikely syllables.
In terms of emphasizing on unlikely syllables, one example could be how Americans pronounce the word "process" as präˌses (or "prah-CESS"), with emphasis on the latter syllable, while Canadians pronounce it asˈprōˌses (or "PRO-cess"), with emphasis on the first syllable. In terms of "Canadian raising", one example could be how the word "about" is often pronounced as "aboot".
5. Spontaneously let out a "sorry" every few minutes.
Even though you're not guilty of anything and nobody's around.
6. Ultra polite speech is the Canadian way.
For example, you can remind Americans that the word "American" isn't a fitting descriptor for people who live in the United States because the Americas is a conglomerate of multiple North, Central and South American countries, including Canada. Politely, though.
7. Refer to yourself as a "Canuck" because that might actually be the most Canadian thing ever.
And never call Timmies by it's full name.
8. Never use curse words at someone who cuts you off in traffic.
Because even though it wasn't your fault you'll probably still want to say sorry. Resort to a "gosh darn it" or just hold your tongue.
9. Make "Ya bud" your go-to confirmatory statement.
And "Beauty" as your go-to pleased statement, and "Jesus Murphy" your go-to surprised statement.
10. Add these very Canadian words and phrases to your daily vocabulary:
Biffy - a toilet
Giv'n'r - to do something well or with enthusiasm
Chesterfield - a sofa
Stagette - a bachelorette party
Hooped - refers to something as useless due to being broken
For sure - definitely
Had the biscuit - broken or dead
2-4 - a case of 24 beers
Molson muscle - a beer belly
Hoser - a descriptor for an unpleasant person
Klick - a kilometer
Mickey - a 375-mL bottle of liquor
Spinny - short for "spinster"
Pencil crayon - a coloured pencil
Give'r - to exert maximum effort
Garburator - an electric device in kitchen sinks to break up food
Forteleven - a measurement for a random amount of miles
Constab - police
Geezly - a synonym for "very"
Out for a rip - to go on a snowmobile ride
Toque - the Canadian word for "beanie"
Parkade - a parking garage
Pull/boot - an older person who buys alcohol for the underaged
Hang a larry - make a left
Dep - department store
Runners - running shoes
Hang a roger - make a right
Gotch/gitch/gonch - tight men's underwear briefs
Dart - a descriptor for an idiot
How's she bootin'er? - another way to say "How's it going?"
Gorby - tourist
Diphthongs - combining two vowels into one (or ask the linguistics major in the comments section)
Bunnyhug - a hoodie
Double-double - a coffee order with two creams and two sugars
Takitish - to "take it easy"
Hi-yu - a large gathering
From away - refers to migrants
Newfie - someone from Newfoundland
Islander - someone from Vancouver Island or the Maritimes
Haligonian - someone from Halifax
Now use them all in a sentence!
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