Everyone gets a little worried prior to going on a date. The unthinkable can happen and you could possibly have a life-scarring experience. Whether it's something they said or something you accidentally did, I'm sure most of us have had at least one mortifying date.
As horrendous these stories are, they're also incredibly entertaining to read. I asked people in the Facebook community to send me their terrible dating experiences they've had in Toronto... And here is what I got:
1. This guy picks me up in a beat up ride that's very dented and smells like Marijuana. He surprises me with flowers and a bunch of chocolates. He then takes me for dinner to Joeys at Don Mills and complains how expensive it is. The entire time he stares at my forehead, but tells me he has eyesight problems. At the end of the night my date hot boxes the car and asks me for the chocolates that he so graciously gifted me at the me at the beginning of the night. At that point I was surprised he didn't ask for the flowers back...
2. I had a girl tell me what type of husband she's looking for, how much he needs to make, her desired allowance per month, the amount of children she wants and their gender, all within 10 mins of us meeting in person from Okcupid. After the date, I dropped her off at the Hoxton because all she wanted to do is get wasted and party.
3. This girl asked me, "So, we're exclusive right?" while I was going down on her for the first time...
4. I hooked up with this girl, and it was a total one night stand. The next day her husband texted me asking for details as to what I did with her...
5. One time I spilled an entire beer on a date at East on Queen St... That was pretty mortifying.
6. This one guy laughed in my face on our first date, so I asked "What?" he goes,"Oh nothing it's inappropriate." So I respond with, "Ok, don't tell me." He then says, "Ah whatever I'll tell you anyways... I was just thinking about how funny it would be if I came in you, scooped it out, then fed it to you."
7. I was talking to a reasonably cute girl on Tinder. We didn't have too much in common, but I thought "Why not give it a try?" I took her to The Good Son, a popular Italian restaurant in Toronto. The conversation was boring, but manageable. I'm a great listener but she blabbed for hours and it was pretty tiring, especially since the whole conversation was about her. After a couple of drinks and a bottle of wine, I noticed she was getting a little drunk. She wanted to continue the night after dinner, so we went to the Dog and Bear next door. She kept on telling me how hot she was and how every guy wants to do things for her. I asked her, "Why would guys do anything for you?" she responds, "I told you, I'm hot." She told me to watch her as she went to the bar, she flirted a little and a guy gave her his chair. She smiled and said "See!" From afar, she continued with "I could get any guy in this bar. I bet they would fuck me." I said, "Why would anyone want to sleep with you? You only talk about yourself, you're a 3 out of 10 and you're probably a starfish in bed." With her mouth wide open, she followed up with: "We're done. done done done." I said: "Done what?" She responded with: "Once you go over the hill with me, you can never come back." I immediately looked her in the eyes, chugged my beer and said, "You wish you could have every guy in this bar. You're definitely wrong in that, you won't ever have me...Hillbilly" and then I walked out.Worst experience of my life. Was I rude? Sure, but there's way too many pushovers in the world. That's the last time I'll ever spend $150 on a first date.
8. On our first date he asked me to go to a Blue Jays game. I was broke at the time and didn't have a cellphone, so I told him let's wait until I start my new job but he insisted on paying. We took the subway together and had a great time watching the game. He bought me two beers and and 5-6 for himself. By the end of the game he was looking nervous. As we started walking out he said, "Hey let's walk home.. We both enjoy walking and it will give us time to chat". Now, knowing our area was about an 8 hour walk I was hesitant and asked if we could take the bus home and maybe walk close from a different stop. He then told me he had no more money and his phone was dead. I asked if we could use someone's phone and get a ride.. But he was too embarrassed. Instead of leaving and grabbing my own ride I felt bad and said "let's start walking and maybe call someone when we get closer to the area". It started to pour rain and he didn't want to stop walking. My wedge strap broke, we had no money to grab a pair of flats and we walked 8 and half hours in a storm! By the end of it I was drenched and he was mad that I wanted to stop and grab some f*cking shelter.
9. I went on a Tinder date with this dude. First off, HUGE CATFISH. He looked nothing like the Tinder pics, he must have been a Photoshop wizard. We decided to go to the VIP Cineplex theatre on Queensway. We arrived early, so we went to grab a beer at the bar. He then suggests shots of Goldschlage. I agreed to one, and after that he suggested doing more. During the movie he goes completely grade 7 on my ass and pulls the 'yawning/putting my arm around you' move. He drives me home after the movie and then asks me at my door "So, what are you doing after this?" and I'm like "Going to bed BYE." The next morning I wake up to a text that says "Had an amazing time last night, lets get dressed to the nines, go on a nice dinner, watch a play, and then go to a club next weekend." SORRY SIR?!?!?! That is literally the worst idea I have ever heard. Goodbye.
10. A guy asked me to grab dinner in Oakville after I was done work. He was cute and seemed nice, so I thought why not? We drove separately so incase things got weird, I would be ok. At dinner he starts talking about how he is a pro NHL hockey player for the Carolina Hurricanes. I'm not a huge sports fanatic and I could identify maybe 5 players by looking at them. He keeps talking about hockey, and even whips out a stats card with his face on it. We went to the Keg Mansion for dinner, which he paid for dinner. He kissed me after dinner and then we parted ways. He didn't try to take me to his place which was nice! When I got home I googled him and he didn't come up. I searched the NHL rosters and couldn't find his name anywhere. When I called him out over text, he ghosted me!
11. This guy told me we were going to go to a nice restaurant, so I was wore high heels but he showed up on his bike. How weird is that? He never understood why I was taken aback by that.