If you're Jewish (or halfsies, or quatersies, or your great-great-great grandmother is Jewish) you'd be crazy not to go on Birthright. It's a right of passage for any Toronto Jew and ultimately one of the best experiences you will ever have.
Here are some honest and classic experiences that will undoubtedly happen to you whilst in the land of Izzy on this 10 day adventure:
Photo by: birthrightinstagram
1. You'll have hook up stories that you can only have in Israel
Such hook up stories can range anywhere from: “I hooked up with the bar tender on his kibbutz”, to “I couldn’t understand a fuckin’ thing my soldier was saying but the Israeli accent is so sexy and now were doing long-distance.” What is it about putting a bunch of Jews from all over the world together in Israel that makes them want to procreate? And also, like, is the rumour about a free honeymoon to Israel if you marry someone on your trip even true or…?
Photo - img.food
2. You'll be eating more hummus, falafel and pita than you ever had before.
“Omg hummus from Toronto is literally trash compared to this heaven-sent dip." You will smother this concoction on all of yout foods all of the time!
Photo by: keepcalm
3. You will learn some Hebrew lingo (but only Sababa)
So maybe you didn’t go to Hebrew day school growing up and your Hebrew knowledge is slim… but on day one on this trip, you’ll be taught this phrase and now you know one Hebrew word that you can say nonstop that makes you seem chill and down for whatever. Crisis averted.
*NOTE* You’ll undoubtedly encounter one or two people on your bus who somehow “lose the ability to speak English” because they become “so immersed in Israel and its beautiful language”.
Photo - buzzfeed
4. You'll become jealous of the Israeli life
You’re constantly wearing sunscreen on every inch of your body, dressed as if your going on a classy, canoe trip, and constantly hydrating all day because it’s imperative in 40-degree heat. But then you realize Israelis are literally always tanned, boozing up on the beach, and frolicking without a care in the world and you’re inevitably reminded how Canadian you are. You’ll always look nebby in comparison to the Israeli babes, therefore, the jealousy is alive and well.
5. Everyone will be snoozing hard on the bus
You’re probably out all night partying at the bars in Tel Aviv and you end up only having a couple hours in your room to sleep before you have your 5:30 am wake up call. So who needs a bed to catch some zzz’s when you have a bus ride?Also the pics of you sleeping with your neck pillow, mouth open, and drool all over your face, will become memes to last a lifetime.
photo by: media-cache
6. You will go to the Dead Sea and take pics with mud all over you.
You will enter the waters nervously because your Birthright leaders have warned you about the salt water stinging the shit out of your cuts, but then realizing it’s not that bad. “Enjoy floating in the holy waters and may god have mercy on all of our souls.”
photo by: media-cache
7. You'll take camel pics in the desert
Or in the gas station… but with the perfect camera tilt no one will know the difference. Cause we all need that perfect selfie with the camel and have the opportunity sing the Aladin classic “Maaake waaaay for Prince Aliiiiiiiii” in the most ideal setting.
photo by: film-travel
8. You'll go to Greece
Because after the party is the after-party. Most people who extend their trip will go to Greece for a couple days of endless bar hoping and Mediterranean meals. But the real goal is to take a pic with your four best girlfriends sitting with a perfect view of the water in Santorini, channeling Lena in Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.
photo by: mymorning
9. People will want to make Aliyah
No I’m not talking about the legendary R&B singer (r.i.p), but the very likely feeling that you’ll want to stay in Israel forever post-Birthright. “Oh my god I never want to leave!! I will live and die here if my life depends on it!!!
*there will be one or two people on your bus who become the token Zionists (usually the same people who eventually only speak Hebrew *see #3)
** most people who say they want to make Aliyah never actually do
photo by: thisonetimeonbirthright
10. People will complain about the lack of freedom on your trip and how the birthright leaders aren’t letting you drink and go out at night.
Ugh, you're not my dad.
photo by: travelpod
11. You'll endure the inevitable icebreaker games with your bus and a ton of forced bonding
“Okay everybody go around the circle, say your name, where you’re from, and like, what you like to do for fun!”
photo by: images.fineart
12. You will make new friends that will last a lifetime
Seriously, this 10 day, free trip to Israel is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that is as incredible, as it is unforgettable. You’ll make some kick-ass memories with a shit ton of fresh faces in a beautiful country, so it’s really a win-win.