12 Reasons Why Modern Dating In Toronto Makes Me Want To Punch Myself In The Face
This is not an understatement.
Being single in Toronto is about having all the freedom you want and complaining about it every chance you get. Our generation has changed the way we classify dating to the point where no one really knows if they're in a real relationship or not. If you're a rare couple that has managed to push past that grey area and make sense of it all, congratulations to you! For all the others out there in the city, don't worry - you aren't alone. Every day we are fighting that battle of questioning whether we should commit to something longer than that 2 hour wait at Sweet Jesus.
1. You are constantly questioning whether being single in Toronto is a blessing or a curse
You want independence, but don't like exploring Kensington Market alone. You like your space, but wouldn't mind walking around Harbourfront with someone else. All your friends are in a relationship, you're not. Society is telling you to enjoy your 20's, but frowns upon you when you're alone. Make up your mind world.
2. If you live outside downtown Toronto, you're basically in a long distance relationship
I need to commute to spend time with you? Nah.
3. OVO / Drake obsessed people make me cringe
We get it, you're proud of The 6, but you don't need to remind me every time we talk. Your friend is a friend of a guy that knows Drake? Cool.
4. Your favourite place to go out is Early Mercy or EFS
Toronto is known for being one of the best places for young adults to live and enjoy a hype nightlife, and it's true! BUT if you're just talking to me because you're a club promoter or gym buff, please. No one has time for that.
5. On the other hand...going out alone SUCKS
Do people even do that anymore? I'm a huge advocate for independence and don't believe you should depend on other people to have fun, but the idea of going out to a bar or club alone isn't appealing. Even if you do make it out alone, you soon realize that you probably should have stayed back at your apartment, snuggled in bed watching Netflix. You have two options on a Friday night, take your pick.
6. Online dating / apps are NOT making it any easier
We claim to be picky, but we're really just too anti-social to meet people in real life. Despite popular belief, after the first couple of months (even weeks) of using apps to find your next true love, you'll soon realize that it's a lot more difficult and tiring than you thought. The convenience factor is definitely there, but the idea of conducting small talk over and over again takes away from that. Sure - I'm busy, you're busy, but trying to juggle multiple (surface) conversations that usually begin with "DTF" does not sound like a great way to spend my free time. Not to mention, Toronto is a small enough city where the fear of running into bad past Tinder dates is real.
7. The number of fuck boys / girls is growing and making it harder to distinguish the good from the bad
"Why limit yourself to one person when you can date them all?" I blame Tinder and other social media apps for allowing this term to become the norm. Why do we think this type of behaviour is acceptable and evidently fall for the trap every time? Torontonians want to feel exclusive to someone, but not actually BE exclusive to anyone.
8. So then, what is being exclusive?
This term (rarely) exists anymore. No one likes to talk about it, or wants to bring up "the talk". So instead, our minds circle around questioning whether or not we're casually seeing someone, or is it something serious. Basically, no one in Toronto is ready to settle down and commit.
9. That Insta Bae probably Insta slays...on the daily
All I can say is BEWARE. If that hottie is getting major traffic on their Instagram posts, chances are the same thing is happening in the DM's. Are you sure you still have that date scheduled for tacos this week at El Catrin? Think again. And people wonder why our generation has increasing trust issues...
10. Being ghosted or being a ghost is normal
No, no it's not. Since childhood, no one likes to be ignored, so why is this any different in modern dating? I would rather receive a simple courtesy text so I can avoid wasting my time worrying about whether or not someone is interested in me, even if that means being rejected. We all think we're special and unique, so we deserve to be with someone the same, right?
11. You're falling for the (low-key) serial dater
They're everywhere, but you would never know it. You might be seeing someone that has a "list" of their top go-to dates. Basically, you've made the roster of potential dates, so congrats. But once something better comes around, you might get pushed down that lineup. I'm looking at you, Bae Street.
12. Casual dating is as mentally frustrating as the TTC schedule
Always have a Plan B. Not that plan B, take your mind out of the gutter. Just be prepared for a rollercoaster of uncertainties. Like the TTC, casual dating has no real agenda, instead it has a mind of its own. One day everything might be running smoothly; the next, you're stuck in a 45 minute delay forcing you to take unnecessary shuttle buses or take additional detours you never knew existed. At least with Toronto transit, you know you'll reach your destination (eventually).