If you go to Western, chances are you've heard one of these boring cliches. If you go to a different school, chances are you're reading this article to figure out how to insult your 'Stang friends. I suggest looking elsewhere - this is merely a collection of your tired and unoriginal chirps.
To quote 'Bring It On' (aka one of the greatest movies of the early 00s) "Thats alright, thats okay, you're gonna pump our gas someday!":
Photo credit- Amelia Ter Brugge
1. "So..you chose your school just for the parties?"
Um....no. I chose my school for a number of reasons. Consider the following: Western has consistently been voted as having the greatest student experience in the country; the campus is beautiful; the academic reputation is great, we have a number of incredible alumni and world-class research facilities. And oh, ya...we do like to party. We're sorry people are so jealous of us...but we can't help it that we're popular.
2. "Where's your Canada Goose jacket/ Lululemons/ Uggs/ Sperrys/Hunters?"
Can you at least think of a more original chirp please? Not only are all of the above warm and/or comfortable, Western sure as hell isn't the only school whose students wear these brands. We're intelligent and therefore we're practical in what we wear.
3. "You know you live in the snowbelt, right?"
Um. Duh. I am painfully aware. Just ask the scar on my right knee that I got from wiping out hard in the snow twice in one day. At least our campus looks beautiful in the winter.
4. "Your football team sucks."
Our football team doesn't suck...we've won the Vanier Cup six times, the Yates Cup 29 times (more than any other Canadian university), have consistently ranked in the top 5 the past 12 seasons and a number of Mustang Football alumni play in the CFL and NFL. Your argument is invalid.
Photo credit- Amelia Ter Brugge
5. "Is that Western girl stereotype true?"
Once again, are you really that boring that you can't think of anything better to say? Sure, Western is home to a ton of hot girls who rock Lululemon....why are you complaining? Our campus is filled with smart, interesting, funny and motivated women. Try again.
Photo Cred: Author's Own
6. "Purple really isn't your colour."
Well, purple is actually symbolic of dignity, intellect, royalty, creativity and wealth. So ya, it actually is my colour.
7. "You should've gone to Queens."
Not even worth dignifying with a response. If someone says this to you, they're just looking to push your buttons.
8. "Spoke bagels are fattening."
Duh. Its a bagel. And it likely has delicious cream cheese or butter on it. But its so good, so don't bother wasting your breath trying to persuade us not to eat one. Especially when we're hungover.
9. "I can outdrink you/Western students can't party."
Tell that to Playboy.
10. Anything related to the Fanshawe Riots of 2012
I don't know how many times I've had to reiterate that Western was not involved in the Fanshawe Riots. It reflects poorly on Fanshawe, not on us (sorry). Also, these riots have single-handedly made police presence much more noticeable on Homecoming and St. Patrick's Day. Many a kegger have been ruined because the City of London never wants another alcohol-fuelled riot to happen again.
11. "The only good thing Western has going for it is Ivey"
Don't get us wrong: Ivey is phenomenal. And true, Western is very well known for it's HBA program. But the only good thing about Western? No way. Beautiful campus (and student body), world-class academics, record-breaking research (Dr. Kang's HIV vaccine, anyone?), number one student experience....we could go on but we'll stop.
12. "You don't go to the best school in the world."
I am simply going to address this with a quote from the Big Lebowski :
The next time you try to insult a Western student....try a little harder.