Oh, the joys of riding Toronto's public transit system. Serving nearly two million Torontonians every day, the TTC is a practical way of getting around our city, and an... interesting way to meet all kinds of different people, as well. If you've lived in the GTA all your life, you've likely come across every one of these types of commuters already. If you've just moved to the city recently for school or work and you haven't come across some of them yet, then it's only a matter of time before you will.
1. The older lady who will be swiping her way through her current Kindle read.
What're we reading today, older Kindle lady? Stephen King? The new Amy Schumer? A stereotypical Jane Austen classic, perhaps?
2. The avid gamer who will have his entire setup on the bus with him - bulky headphones, 15-inch gaming PC and all.
At the very least, you have to admire his commitment. Those offline RPGs ain't gon' play themselves, y'know.
3. The very-very-in-love couple that will post up in that half-cubicle area in front of the subway doors.
They will find a way to intertwine as many body parts as possible, and you will find a way to think it the most endearing display of affection you've ever had the pleasure of witnessing! #Not
4. That poor soul who must've missed out on their lunch because they will be damned if they can't find some way to eat their entire McD's combo despite the packed subway train during evening rush hour.
Or it could be a dripping messy footlong from Subway or maybe even homemade kothu roti in a neat little Tupperware container. It doesn't matter. Point is that while it may smell great on its own, the smell can start to get a bit funky when mixed with the stuffy air of too many bodies and not enough air conditioning.
5. The obnoxiously loud pack of teenagers in school uniforms that will all get on together at that one stop near the local high school.
Oh yes, you think to yourself as their identical black Jansport bags all push up against you on their trek to the back of the bus. So this is why I've always avoided this bus route around 3:30 pm.
6. That person who will be on the phone with what seems to be their significant other and should quite obviously have been better off as a private conversation.
Like it or not, for the next 20 or so minutes, you are just as much a part of the unfolding drama as anyone else on this bus, and wow is she really about to break up with him over that? Wait, hold up, he did what? Lawwwd, make it stop.
7. The guy who will kindly share his music with you and everyone else on this party bus by blaring his music on full volume from his phone's tinny-ass speakers.
Look, I understand - we've all had that sinking realization from time to time that we've forgotten our headphones, and it sucks. But at least we have the common courtesy to sit through our hour-long commute with nothing to entertain us but older Kindle lady's current read on our left or avid gamer's RPG playing out on the screen to our right. It's clear you're vibing to your music hard, and that's great for you, dude, but what makes you think anyone else here gives a shit? You might have the absolute greatest taste in music but you should still have the decency to keep it to yourself on public transit, please and thank you.
8. The person who will apparently want to have a staredown with you.
Every time you happen to look up from your phone, this person will have just flicked their eyes away from you. You look away for two seconds, look back, and you make the briefest of eye contact. The process repeats awkwardly until one of you eventually gets off. Or alternatively, you are this person and you truly have no explanation for your behaviour other than that you happen to space out while staring uncomfortably deep, deep down into somebody's soul. Thanks for that, bud.
9. That rude ass person that will take out their personal issues on the bus driver or fellow passengers.
They might be drunkenly harassing everyone, or they're pissed for getting called out on paying the wrong fare, or they will scream and curse and shove you for merely brushing up against their ultra-deluxe-size baby stroller during evening rush hour on a packed bus (and yes, that was an absolutely true personal experience). Avoid engaging with this person. Avoid them like your life depends on it - they are not worth the trouble. Don't encourage the crazy.
10. The guy who will spread his legs out to each side as humanly far as possible, AKA the dreaded manspreader.
There is just no way your piece needs that much more space than the rest of us, man. Why must I sit as tightly cross-legged as possible just to avoid playing unwanted footsie with you? And, just to be fair to both genders, the female equivalent to this is all you ladies placing your Guess or Michael Kors bags on the seat next to you. Did your bag also pay its own separate fare? No? Then I suggest you kindly free that seat up for the person having to stand in front of you, thanks.
11. The person who will sit behind you with the naaaastiest sounding cough.
Oh. My. GOD. I swear you can just feel the germs shooting out onto your poor neck/hair/back. This has got to be one of the worst experiences you feel forced to sit through in order to not seem impolite (because we Canadians are just too polite sometimes for our own good).
12. The person who will smell bad. Like, BAD.
One word: DEODORANT. Pray they get this as a stocking stuffer this Christmas because clearly they can't be bothered to go out and purchase a stick of their own. Or perhaps they accidentally forgot to apply it that morning and are now hating themselves, in which case I pity them, I truly do, but I pity myself even more for having to endure their B.O. on this cramped streetcar.
What other personalities have you come across on the TTC?
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