Photo cred - @jazzyphotos
Instagram is an app that makes everyone and their mom a professional photographer. The fundamental truth about Instagram is that it is just one more way for us to be narcissistic and show off our lives, we love it. We're all guilty of obsessing over the amount of double taps we're getting on a photo in the minutes that follow our upload and which filter makes us/our food/our pets/our abs look the best.
If you're big into Instagram you understand the common struggles of 2014, including, but not limited too, a heated debate with yourself over whether or not you should take down a photo that didn't get a lot of likes, having post-upload filter regret and the horror of taking a bite out of your food before you instagrammed it- dammit!
You also, probably fit into one or more of the following categories of Toronto Instagram accounts, which one are you?
Photo cred - @tastetoronto
That one friend you're following that only posts photos of their meals. This type of Instagrammer orders meals based on what they look like and then spends close to 12 minutes after the food arrives at the table perfectly positioning it so that they can get the best possible angle. They think that their calling in life is to show people just how pretty food can be, just eat the damn thing!
We're all guilty of it but this type of Instagram account takes it to a new level. We're talking that one guy or girl on your instagram feed whose overall profile kind of looks like the same thing over and over again, pictures of them. We cannot believe how much dedication this person has to their signature pose and/or duckface. They know that they're pretty, you know that they're pretty, can we all just stop with the costant flow of selfies now?
This dedicated tumblr/pinterest/we heart it user has a different #mondaymantra, #TransformationTuesday, #WonderfulWednesday, #TerrificallyGreatThursday and #FabulousFriday #QOTD (quote of the day) every week and while you do appreciate their desire to motivate you through the turbulence of every day life you can't help but role your eyes. How many times can I hear the following: ' Make today the best day yet' or 'Just Be You' before my freaking eyes are on a permanent role loop?
#Fitspo and #Thinspiration are common hashtags amongst this type of Instagrammer. Their picture posts go something like this: topless flexing photo of abs/biceps/triceps/all of the above, photo of salad, 15 second tutorial of an at-home arm workout, photo of a smoothie, perhaps including an easy to follow recipe, repeat. You're really happy for your friend who is so dedicated to their health but seriously I don't need to see that shit, Im enjoying my X-tra large french fry from McDonalds ~ let me live ~
Photo cred - @juleneang
That one friend whom you can always count on to post an #OOTD, even when its a rainstorm of epic proportions outside and you know that no normal person should be even somewhat trying to look presentable today. They do not necessarily need to be that stylish or into fashion, maybe they're just wearing yoga pants and a sweater but yet they feel it's important for us to know what they are wearing today- perhaps they are afraid they may go missing and we may need to know what they last had on?
Proud Pet Grammer
You are so familiar with the person that you follow whose entire instagram is photos of their dogs, cats, hamsters, etc. What is worse is the people who have started a personal instagram account for their pet who obviously could not actually operate their own instagram account due to a lack of thumbs, duhhhh. Hey, puppies make us just as happy as the next guy so we're not complaining, live on pet parents, live on!
Ahh the lovey dovey couples of Instagram. There are different types of sub-categories for this one. The Instagrammer who has been in a long term relationship with their high school sweetheart for a billion and one years and posts super cutesy pictures of them doing fun activities or the Instagrammer who seems to be posting couple-like photos with a new significant other every other week. We love love and all but we can only see you kissing, hugging or holding hands under so many different filters before our swooning turns to puking.
Shots! Shots! Shots! Everyboooooooody.... like my pictures of shots because they're so unique. Toronto is a party city and like any and all other party cities people want to show off their incredible debauchery. Common photos on these threads are not limited to shots, you can also rely on them for blurry group shots at clubs, #OOTN (out of the night) around 11PM on thursdays/fridays/saturday/maybe sundays. We envy this persons alleged social life until they become the Sunday hungover snap chatter....
Passports and starbucks go hand-in-hand for this type of Instagram account. You cannot have one without the other, apparently. This persons travels always start with the signature airport shot and are then followed up with some pretty killer views. We feel like we're there, except until we realize that we're not and feel compelled to comment something like 'oh em effing geeeee, I hate you, you're so lucky' or 'take me wiiiiiiiith you.'
Photo cred - @mattshr
The Artsy Grammer
That one friend who is like so totally @r+$y. They can make anything-we mean anything look cool; plants, random chairs, cups, etc. It is like this type of Instagrammer knows some sort of extended way to use the app to make things appear way more artsy than they actually are because I mean really, what is so special about a shelf with weird stuff on it that it needs 500 plus likes? We want to be well versed like this type of user.
The Throw Back Thursday Grammer
This type of instragram user lives for Thursday. They have spent the better part of a weekend collecting photos from their parents old photo albums, put them onto their phone, categorized them into an album and mentally charted which ones will be used on which Thursdays. They have some stored for special occasions, such as Valentine's day, Halloween and Christmas so that they are always prepared to share their childhood with us.