Photo cred - Sebastian Petrescu
Torontonians are a resilient bunch. We work hard, we play hard, we put our all into everything we do. Which is why we're bound to be completely fine if some Day After Tomorrow type shit started happening. We can easily use all the unique skills we've developed living in this city to keep us going. And our environment almost feels tailor made for end of the world protection.
We Have Plenty Of Underground Space To Hide Out In
Say what you will about the TTC, it's very twisty and windy, and there's plenty of space in them. Those of us who can't fit in there can use PATH, and even the Rogers Center if we need to.
We're All Extremely Fit
The end of the world is the perfect opportunity for Torontonians to cash in on all that exercising we're doing all the time. If Lake Ontario floods, we'll be more than capable of swimming somewhere safe. We can pull fallen trees off of children, and outrun a hurricanes. Come at us, apocalypse!
We Can All Retire To Muskoka Until The Heat Dies Down
Everyone in Toronto has got a friend who has a cottage or cabin in Muskoka, so if worst comes to worst, we can always leave town and hide out in the wilderness for a bit. Because for some reason, the areas untouched by man tend to be the most okay when the world ends. Everyone else will be freaking out, but we'll just be doing some fishing, and soaking up the sun.
Photo cred - kristin_a
We've Got More Than Enough Food To Get By
Can you imagine how much food is stored in the unbelievable amount of restaurants in this city? Toronto has a ridiculous ratio of restaurants to people, so even beyond the already prepared food that we'll have access to when the world ends, there's probably even more shit we can store and save for later. No one needs to go hungry, it'll be all good.
We're All Too Polite To Tear Shit Up
Torontonians are too nice and considerate to trash their home. If the apocalypse goes down, no one will be trampling anyone to get the last baked ham at Loblaws. No, most people will probably share what they have with everyone they can. The whole city will basically become a hippie commune!
We Have Lots Of Practice Living Without Electricity
It feels like we get a blackout every time the wind blows a little too hard, so by now, we're experts at living in pre-modern conditions. We all know exactly what to do to keep warm without heating, or make food without power. Finally, the city's shitty electrical wiring is good for something!
We Don't Know How To Quit
There are some cities that may be willing to lay down and die when shit goes down, but Toronto is not one of those cities. We have never accepted anything without a fight, and I doubt we'd stop just because of some silly apocalypse. No, we'll be pushing forward when everyone else in the world has long just accepted their fate.
There's Lots Of Tall Buildings To Wait Out A Flood On
We've got more skyscrapers than you can shake a stick at, and since you know the apocalypse is going to involve rising water levels (thanks global warming), tall buildings are a good thing to have. Dundas Square alone probably has enough elevated space to protect half the city's population.
Photo cred - Geoffrey Gilmour-Taylor
We Don't Need Gas To Get Around
If gasoline prices were to suddenly shoot up (because they always do whenever a crisis happens), we could easily still transport ourselves by taking over streetcar lines. Hell, they'd probably run faster than they do now without traffic getting in the way. And you'd finally be able to enjoy a streetcar ride with no detours.
The CN Tower Can Act As A Lightning Rod
It already is, but that would finally serve a purpose when the skies are going crazy. Because of that, we'll probably under go a lot less lightning damage than a lot of non-CN Tower-having cities. Sucks to be them.
We'd Barely Notice An Extreme Freeze
Let's face it, Torontonians can be pretty cold. It's why we crush winter so hard every year. So if the world suddenly froze over, we probably won't be that bothered by it.
We Have Plenty of Books To Keep Us Warm
The Toronto Public Library system is extensive. There's probably millions of books at our disposal should we need kindling for fires. We can totally handle a little cold.
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