If you had started a conversation 5 years ago by saying, "So I was creeping Bill the other day and saw he was single again..." you would have probably spent a lot of time hearing polite but frantic excuses to leave the conversation. But now we live in this beautiful world where creeping isn't a social taboo, rather it's a conversation topic that's celebrated with the excitement that comes from finding out your crush has an unlocked profile on Instagram.
And even though some people are shy to admit it: we all creep each other on any and every form of social media we can get our hands on. It's human nature to want to know about the details of other people's lives, like hello, why do you think fiction has survived for so long? Or reality TV shows? Everyone does it, and everyone experiences the awkward and embarrassing outcomes that still come from this once solitary practice. But it's a new world, we creep together. Whether it's your crush, your ex, or that stunning girl from your Poli-Sci lecture; here are some struggles of modern day creeping everyone goes through. (Ya, even you)
1. Accidentally double tapping your crushes photo on Instagram......from 5 months ago
They know it didn't "just" show up on your feed; girl, you were 32 weeks deep about to move onto to your next beau when your finger accidentally tapped twice and you've never been more scared by a cartoon heart.
2. Having to act surprised when someone tells you about their life, in real life
Because you know, clearly I didn't know you went to vacation with your cousins to that cute B&B two weeks ago. How would I know that? *Awkwardly laughs and runs away*
3. Having to make new emails 24/7 to sign up for new fake accounts so you can low key creep
You're pretty much Jason Bourne with the amount of identities you could take on. I once heard of a group of friends doing this to creep an ex, I was impressed and a little worried- but A for effort friends.
4. Realizing the person you're showing your friends on Facebook is standing right behind you
"Any chance you believe that this is my cousin who looks identical to you?" No? Okay, yep, this is the time for me to move out the country.
5. Having to act like you don't know the person you creeped last night when you see them IRL the next day
"Have I ever actually met you before or have I just creeped?"
6. Deciding whether or not to trust your friend when they ask to creep from your account
Like a photo older than 5 weeks and this friendship is over.
7. Trying to find a good picture of your crush to show to your friends
Sure, now you choose to load the picture of he frosted tips. Apparently every good picture is destroyed around company.
8. When the person you want to stalk has a locked profile
Until I get off the wait list for my hackers course, this ones gonna have to wait. How dare you turn on me like this privacy settings!
9. When you are the only one in your squad who follows said locked profile person
Having people who all want to creep the same person is exhausting but someones gotta have the insider access. Power has it's downfalls.
10. Wanting to ask someone where they got that outfit (from their Aunt's wedding 2 years ago)
Should I admit the creep or play it cool? THE DECISION. Maybe they'll take it as flattering?
11. Wanting to ask someone where they found that under the radar but indie chic coffee shop they posted a photo from (from 2 years ago)
Should I admit the creep or play it cool? THE DECISION.
12. Wanting to ask someone the story about hot they met that celebrity (At his concert 2 years ago)
DO YOU SEE A TREND?!
13. Realizing your ex has gotten really hot but you haven't seen them in years
Is, hey I was going through my daily creep of my exes and saw you're really rocking a man bun lately, too forward? Oh the social taboo of starting a conversation after months apart!
At the end of the day just make sure you don't seriously creep people out, remember your own life is pretty cool too.
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