They say that all roads are bound to cross and and meet at some point, but for Torontonians, we all know that the one place everyone seems to be at least 10 times a month is the very beloved Toronto Eaton Centre. Ah, the Eaton Centre...the epicentre of all things Toronto that non- Torontonians seem to only know exists in Toronto other than the CN Tower.
As a teen, going to the Eaton Centre with your friends was exciting and opened a whole new world to your innocent and naive eyes. However fast forward to today where my eyes are always rolled up my skull someone just fvcking stepped on my foot on the escalator because they don't know the difference between the left and right side.
We hate it, but we live to accept it.
That being said, here are 16 annoying things that only happen when you're at the Eaton Centre.
1. When you're trying to catch the train on Dundas but you have to wait for three to pass because of the amount of people already in it.
Let the hunger games begin, because during rush hour it is literally do or die for a seat or have your face pushed up the glass door until Yonge/Bloor.
2. When all the GTA teenagers come in their squads and fill up the line at Starbucks.
You best believe they're all going to order 23 frappucinos... fvck my life.
3. When you try to go to Yonge/Dundas square and have 4 religions preached down your throat.
If I hear that one guy telling me to 'BELIEEEVE' one more time you best believe that I'm gonna lose my shit and start walking away even faster.
4. When all you want is to eat your meal with your friends at the Urban Eatery but there are no seats because some RyersonU student is sitting at a four person table by themselves and their backpack.
You seriously couldn't sit at any of the singular seats with your backpack? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! #hangryaf
5. When you awkwardly bump into an ex or a family member you really didn't want to see.
Why do I always bump into someone I really don't want to see at the Eaton Centre? Isn't it bad enough I just walked past the 'Believe' Guy 20 minutes ago...
6. When you're clearly walking in one direction and some bitxh comes from out of nowhere and tries to walk through you expecting you to move.
Do I look like Casper, bitxh? Either walk around me or learn some manners and say 'excuse me' but don't think you can push me around and walk through me like I'm a ghost...bitxh.
7. When all you want is to buy a damn shirt but a Jay's Game just ended so you're literally stuck in a sea of people.
Clusterfvcks of blue & white EVERYWHERE. Once upon a time, you had to base your schedule on only the weather. Nowadays, you have to check if there's a Jays Game happening to see if it's safe to chill downtown.
8. When you're suddenly a photographer to a family of tourists that just can't seem to take enough family photos of the Eaton Centre fountain.
The limit does not exist when it comes to the amount of a photos a tourist family will want to take of the 6ix. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind taking your photo but I only signed up for 4 or 5 takes at most...
9. When you're forced to play 'dodge the the Pokemon GO teen who's always on their phone' because they're not paying attention to anything but their phone screen.
I get it, you gotta catch 'em all. But do you really have to do that at Yonge/Dundas, one of the busiest crosswalks in Toronto?
10. When there's only one cashier at the H&M, you have 15 minutes until class starts, and the suburban mom in front of you keeps talking about her kids with the cashier.
I don't care about how Carl, or Bobby or fvcking Johnny are doing, I just need to purchase this shirt and get tf out of here.
11. When the situation mentioned above is taking place, but right behind you is that one person who tries to skip the line... just 'cause...
Look Joe, I could give two fvcks about how late you are to meet your buds. If I'm waiting in line, so are you.
12. When people choose to stand still on both sides of the escalator.
Choose a side-- left, you move, right you stand. But don't fvcking waste my time bruh.
13. When people in the crowds decide to walk in slow motion while you're in the back dreading all your life decisions...
... like why I even bothered to mission all the way here to join March of the Penguins *eyerolls*
14. When you're forced to witness another group of pre teens taking a 'squad photo' of themselves at the fountain...
... because you KNOW the photo caption is going to be along the lines of 'running thru the 6ix with my woes' *barf*
15. The lack of parking... I rest my case
And when there is, wtf is this $4/hour bullshxt? Nope, not about it.
16. When you ask the squad to do something in the 6ix and they all want to do something in or around the Eaton Centre.
*sighs*, you just can't escape it smh.