Living in such a huge city leaves us Torontonians with a lot of room for error. Seeing as most of us are basically perfect, I'm sure none of you have found yourself in these situations.
I myself have made almost every dumb decision listed below, so clearly I have some work to do. If you're new to the city, learn from my mistakes. And if you're not new to the city, feel free to laugh at my non-existent skillset when it comes to Toronto.
Remember, do as I say, not as I do. Or don't, this is just an article on the internet anyways!
1. Paying for parking next to the CN tower
This is a trap! Tourist parking is always inflated, be sure to look around on side streets before settling for a 20 dollar parking spot.
2. Checking the weather and not taking the humidity into account
Just because the weather says 22 degrees, don't assume that you will be able to survive in jeans. 94% humidity and no AC in your apartment will always get the last laugh.
3. Thinking you won't eat any junk food at the CNE
If you're on a diet, stay far far away from the CNE. The overwhelming smell of fried food and cotton candy will eventually make your willpower crumble.
4. Not investing in a real winter jacket
Toronto's winters are a mix of sticky snow, mounds of slush, cold winds, and black ice. Make sure to invest in something a bit more substantial than a fall coat or spring jacket.
5. Admitting that you're not a huge Drake fan in public
Please, just keep this to yourself.
6. Hosting a pre-drink when you live in Etobicoke or Scarborough and you plan on going downtown
Nobody is going to be happy taking a 30 dollar semi-sober Uber downtown.
7. Attempting to go shopping at the Eaton Center on a Saturday afternoon
Get ready for long lines for the change rooms, and ridiculously slow walkers!
8. Thinking you'll get anywhere on time during TIFF season
Toronto's rush hour bleeds into the late afternoon and all the way till last call once TIFF roles around, so don't expect to get anywhere on time.
9. Telling yourself that you won't spend any money at the bar when you go out on King St.
10 dollar cover, 40 dollars at the bar, 20 dollars on the Uber, and another 15 on the drunk food.
10. Thinking you can afford to live without a roommate in the downtown core
You want a 1 bedroom in liberty village for $1200 a month??? HAHA!
11. Showing up to Alo without a reservation
This is not a spur of the moment decision, this is a "hey, will you be hungry in 3 months?" type of decision.
12. Standing on the left side of the escalator, anywhere
This is an unspoken rule in Toronto: left is for passing, right is for standing.
13. Taking the 501 street car during rush hour
Get comfy, it will take you an hour and a half to get back to long branch!
14. Falling into a conversational trap with the Beleive guy
This is also a trap! Avoid eye contact and put your headphones in.
15. Not taking advantage of all the student discounts you can get in the city
If you're enrolled in school, you need to be taking advantage of all of these discounts!
16. Thinking that you won't get a drunk burrito after a night out on Adelaide
I think a drunk burrito is a prerequisite before calling your Uber home.
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