The first job I ever had was as a cashier at a high-end grocery store.  When I first got hired I couldn't have been more excited.

That all changed the day a customer hit with a baguette.  Yes, I got hit with a loaf of bread. Mainly because the customer wanted my attention while she explained that she wanted her groceries bagged according to gluten and gluten-free items.  The moment that baguette crumbled on the sleeve of my puke-coloured button down, I knew that my job sucked.

This one goes out to all my friends that are still stuck behind the till.  You are the true MVPs and I will forever have the utmost respect for you.  I vow that I will never, ever say the following 16 phrases to you for as long as live.

1. "Haha it's so nice outside, too bad you're stuck at work"

Yep, beautiful day to be stuck behind a cash register for 8 hours scanning frozen meat! :)


2. "Why is ________ so expensive?"

I'm not sure! I work here part-time so clearly that is not a decision I am allowed to make, but feel free to keep blaming me for the entire franchise being over priced!


3. "I just don't understand why I have to pay for bags."

And I just don't understand why you didn't bring your own if you didn't want to pay for them?


4. "It didn't scan? Guess it's free!"

Haha hehe lmao lol. This is a great joke that I love hearing 6 times per shift.


Gif Cred - Giphy 

5. "Hold on, I forgot my wallet in the car!"

Sure, no problem.  I'll just stand here with half of your groceries scanned while my other 7 customers wait 15 minutes for you to run out to your car and look for your wallet.  This is the best.


6. "I already started eating this, but you can still ring it through right?"

Well, considering grapes are priced by weight and not quantity, no it is absolutely not okay! :)


8. "Oh, the price was ______, you don't need to scan it"

You cannot be trusted.


9. "Is your lane still open?"

Well, my light is currently off and I have a "closed" sign at the end of my conveyor, so you tell me!


10. "Is it chip?" 

Well, if the debit machine says insert chip, I'm going to go with yes.


Gif Cred - Giphy 

12. "Oh, wait wait wait, I think I have change after all!"

Oh okay, I will just put away the 2 quarters, 1 dime and 1 nickel you watched me count out.


13. When you're looking for a code and they tell you what type of vegetable it is like you're an idiot.

OH! So this is what an apple looks like! Thanks v much, so helpful of you.


14. "Oh, was I supposed to write the code down on the tag?"

Yes, that is why there are signs telling you to write down your codes, tags and mini pencils all over the bulk section. But don't you worry, I will spend 15 minutes finding all the codes for your 10 bags of bulk candy.


15."I saw you're having a sale next week, can I get the discount now?"

In what world does this make sense?!  


16. "How about a smile?!"

How about you stand on a tile floor for 7 hours and we will see how "smiley" you are.

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