When your parents let you go to the mall with your friends for the first time at the age of 14, you're all like "OMG the Eaton Centre!" This is especially true if you're from the GTA. You're there everyday or every week doing absolutely nothing productive with your lives. As you age away from your teenage years, you start to hate the Eaton Centre. More accurately, you start to hate people at the Eaton Centre. You avoid going there as much as possible (especially Ryerson students) because god forbid you'll encounter one or all of these people.
1. People outside the mall at Yonge and Dundas trying to convert you
Nah man, I'm good.
2. People who stand on the left side of escalators by the entrance of Eaton's
Please move, I have to run to the Eatery to grab food before class.
3. People who take up entire tables by themselves at the Eatery when it's busy
I want to throw that poutine in your face.
4. People who don't clean up after themselves at the Eatery
This is not a restaurant??? Other people need to sit???
5. That one group of annoying teenagers from the GTA
Remember hanging out at Eaton/Yorkdale/Fairview/STC everyday in high school because there was nothing else better to do? Good times, good times.
6. When you think Toronto people are nice and courteous (I mean, that guy held the door for me) but there's that one person who walks right into you expecting you to move out of the way for them
7. Since we have nice stores in Toronto, we have to deal with the snobby retail workers that come with them
Not to sound like a pretentious snob, but aren't I the one spending my money at your store?
8. People who walk slower than the entire population of Toronto
If there's one thing I've noticed about Toronto people, it's that everyone always seems in a rush to go somewhere. Which is completely okay with me. To the slow walkers of Toronto, there is a certain pace that's acceptable at the mall and yours isn't it.
9. That one couple showing too much PDA by the fountains outside Forever 21
10. People who take forever at the TD Bank machines
Psst, use the ones in the Eatery by Sport Chek instead – they're less busy.
11. People who block the escalators by Steve Madden because they can't decide which escalator they want to take
How about you stand aside and figure it out? Thanks!
12. People who take up the entire walkway with their families on the first floor
Why do you all have to walk beside each other? Why can't you divide yourselves into sections? WHY?
13. People who stop walking in the middle of nowhere to look at a map of Eaton's, check movie times at the AMC theatre, or to be really annoying
YOU COULD'VE JUST MOVED TO THE SIDE, YOU KNOW.
14. People who hold up lines at the cash register when you're rushing to get back to Ryerson
It's not like I have class in 10 minutes or anything...
15. People who block aisles in Shoppers
Um... Excuse me... Can I just grab that loofa from behind your baby stroller? Thanks.
16. People who take forever and hold up lines in the bathrooms by Queen Street
What are you doing in that stall? Texting? Looking up places to eat around Eaton's? Being an asshole?
17. Tourists new to Toronto with their selfie sticks
Ban those things.