Photo cred - lilly.beth
You know what sucks? Snow. You know what sucks even more? When you have to carry on with your life after snow starts to fall. Suddenly Dundas Square looks like a snowpocalypse and Bloor seems lightyears away. Sure, a world where it snows every day and we get to sit in our comfy pyjamas, hot chocolate in hand, bundled in a cozy knit blanket and some Netflix streaming on our TV's? that sounds like a welcome Winter Wonderland to us but the part where we need to wake up early to dig ourselves out of the house? That part blows.
When the snow starts to fall on our city, things like the traffic and ttc tend to slow down even more and subsequently it becomes more difficult to carry out our daily lives. The struggle is very real after the first snow fall and long until the early months of the new year. Here are some ways that our lives got harder after the first snow fall in the city.
1. Wake Up Calls Got Earlier
Since you now need to factor in the extra time needed to force yourself out of the warmth of your bed, and more time to get around the city, your alarm is now programmed to an earlier time or you're late every day, lose-lose situation.
2. Getting Out Of The Shower Became Torture
But the warm steam is soooooo nice and the cold bathroom floor is worse than being stabbed with an icicle in the eye by a homeless man on Sherbourne, repeatedly.
3. Dressing Became Scientific
Can you tell that I'm wearing 3 pairs of underwear, long johns and sweatpants under my jeans?
4. Commutes Became Longer
The TTC already effing blows the big one, now with the road conditions the delays have reached new heights (or should we say, lows)
5. & They Became Messier
Everyone is wet and covered in snow and boogers, ew.
6. Shovelling Became A Daily Source of Forced Exercise
Having a cute Toronto walk up seemed like a fabulous idea when you moved in during the summer....Shovelling makes your upper body burn for days and makes you sweat, it is so not cute.
7. Talking To People Who "Love Winter" Became Infuriating
Oh you just love to snowboard eh? Well good thing Yonge St is a slope, right? dumbass...
8. Leaving The House At All, For Any Reason, Became A Struggle
But, but, but your apartment is so warm and there are blankets and hot chocolate and Netflix.
9. Walking Outdoors Became A Death Wish
The cold hurts so bad, it is more jarring than when the 'Believe' guy shouts at you at Yonge & Dundas
10. Driving Became Furiously Frustrating
A little bit of snow and suddenly the entire population of Toronto, no, the whole population of Ontario, forgets how to drive. Move it along, folks!
11. Eating Became A Warranted Distraction
You need to eat to keep from crying
12. Coffee Intake Became Vital For Warmth
Your brain is telling you that you're cold and thus need more warm beverages, it's not about being awake anymore, its about keeping your hands attached to your body.
13. Going to the Gym Stopped Being Possible
The weather is much too bad to travel places that you actually want to go to, never mind the gym. Your next building definitely needs to have a gym inside.
14. Being Happy Became A Fantasy
What is happiness? You have lost it among all of the darkness and snow storms.
15. Socializing Stopped
Why would you want to ever interact with other humans when your life is in such a current state of horror?
16. Being Naked Stopped Being Fun
It is the last thing on the planet that you want to do, under any circumstances
17. Surviving Became Expensive
Your winter coat ripped, you now have two options, never leave the house again, ever or hit up the Black Market for a 10$ fur jacket from the 80s.
18. Sharing A Bed With Someone Became Impossible
Get your cold feet the fuck away from me