Procrastination is a condition that plagues humans in all stages of life. These days, it is generally perceived as more of an impediment than a competency. Procrastinators are often typecast as overly distracted individuals with terrible self-control, poor time-management skills, shaky self-confidence, and substandard discomfort tolerances. Yet, what is often not considered about procrastinating is that it can serve as a powerful tool when it is executed responsibly.
While it’s perfectly normal to procrastinate from time to time, there still exists a special class of humans whose ability to procrastinate has ascended to seemingly unearthly levels. Unique individuals of this grouping are proficient at handling the extreme situations caused by their own excessive loafing. Essentially, they are masters at the art of procrastination, and are often students in high school or university.
They live among us; average citizens with extraordinary gifts. Are you one of them? You just might be, especially if you find yourself agreeing with any of these characteristic responses:
1. “This is NOT something you can leave to the last minute”
2. “Internet’s down.”
Procrastinator: Guess I can’t start my report.
3. “Did you finish the assignment?”
Procrastinator: No but I’m finally caught up with Game of Thrones.
4. "What have you done so far?”
Procrastinator: The title page.
5. “You should have started earlier.”
Procrastinator: It’s okay, I prefer working under pressure.
6. “It was due today.”
Procrastinator: There are 3 penalty days so technically it isn’t.
7. “Why do you study so close to the exam?”
Procrastinator: Because everything will be fresh in my memory.
8. “There are only 24 hours left until the exam... What are you going to do?”
Procrastinator: 12 lectures... Each takes one hour to read and another hour to memorize... That’s 24 hours. I’m good.
9.*4 hours left until exam*
Procrastinator: I’ll just study the last few lectures and hope that nothing we learned from the beginning of the term is on the exam.
10. “Did you stay up all night studying?”
Procrastinator: I tried to but then I told myself I could sleep now and just wake up super early.
11. “For today’s homework, please read...”
Procrastinator: YES, no homework!
12. *Puts on bathrobe after shower*
Procrastinator: I’ll change once I’m fully dry.
13. “Where were you yesterday? I texted you!”
Procrastinator: Sorry, I forgot to reply.
14. “Are you ready yet?”
Procrastinator: No, I got distracted. I’m in the weird part of YouTube right now.
15. “Why aren’t you packed for the trip?”
Procrastinator: Because I haven’t done all my laundry yet.
16. *Morning of trip*
Procrastinator: I’ll just buy new clothes when I get there.
17. *5:55 PM*
Procrastinator: I’ll start at 6.
18. *At 6:55 PM*
Procrastinator: I’ll start at 7.
19. “What are you going to do with your life?”
Procrastinator: Ask me again later.