Photo cred - Fifth business Photography
Let us get real here for a moment, lying is human nature. Imagine the streets of this city if the people of Toronto could tell the truth and only the truth. "Im good" would become "I broke up with my girlfriend/boyfriend, I hate my job and my grandparents are getting a divorce." It would end well for no one.
Winter is a blistering bitch without having to tell the truth all the time. It' s hard enough to deal with dry hands and lips, messy commutes and snot running down our faces, so we lie to ease the pain a bit. Sometimes we lie to protect others, sometimes we lie to protect our own damn asses. Here are some of the top white lies we tell every winter, just to survive.
1. "I'm not cold"
Says the girl/bro wearing a vest, where is your effing winter jacket dude?
2. "I hate Canada"
No you don't, you're just on a break.
3. "Winter activities are so fun"
Yeah, until you actually have to do them.
4. "Sorry I'm late, the commute was just awful"
This is an example of winter working in your favour, take those extra 5 minutes.
5. "The Leafs can still turn it around"
Keep telling yourself that.
6."I'll definitely start going to the gym tomorrow morning"
Until you wake up and have to brush the snow off your car.
7."I can't wait to graduate and move somewhere warm"
Who are you kidding?
8. "I don't think I can make it, I heard there's going to be a storm"
You surely heard no thing but chances are pretty good it could, maybe, eventually, end up being true.
9. "Trust me, I learned to drive in the Winter"
But then why do you suck?
10. "My class was cancelled because of the weather"
No it wasn't but it should've been.
11. "I have snow tires"
What you mean is you meant to get snow tires but then got bottle service (or a lot of burritos) instead
12." I can ski"
Unless someone asks you to prove it
13. "I'll meet you there"
Or send a text 20 minutes before blaming the cold for your absence
14. "Driving conditions are just too bad in my area"
Toronto/The GTA is big enough for this sort of bullshit
15. Ladies: "My legs aren't cold"
Just wear pants to the bar/club, Jesus.
16. "I must've caught that cold that's going around"
Let me guess, you're going to need the week off?
17. "Let's make plans to hang out next week"
Or, you know, next season.
18. "But Snow is pretty"
If by pretty you mean a white powder that cars/streetcars/general disgustingness turns black and dogs turn yellow, then stunning.
19. "It's too far to TTC"
Literally a $4 cab ride.
20. "I didn't hear my phone ringing"
Aka, If you pulled your hands out of your pockets they would have undoubtedly fallen off your body
For more on all things Toronto, pop culture or just generally sassy commentary, follow Taylor on Twitter @TaylorOliviaMc