22 Signs You're At A Russian Party
Russian parties can be a lot of fun, but super intense at the same time. Certain gestures, customs and acts will not seem normal to someone who is not Russian. Besides of course drinking plenty of vodka, there are other things that are guaranteed to happen at a Russian party in a restaurant.
Whether you've spent a night at Red Square, Elite, Babushka or any other Russian restaurant in Toronto or frantically anywhere in the world, here are 19 things that are bond to happen when partying with the Ruskis:
1. No one is underdressed
Flashy clothes, diamonds, gold chains, 6 inch heels. There's no such thing as being over dressed, because Russians dress to impress. The winter will never stop a woman from wearing a skirt and extreme stilettos.
2. You must kiss three times.
Whenever you greet someone, even if it's a man to man kiss.
3. There are 3 Dashas, 4 Sashas, 2 Petyas, 5 Dimas etc...
So many people have the same name.
4. There's food on the table upon your arrival.
But these are only appetizers. Pickles, venigret, kapusta, ikra, olivier, holodets, cold cuts, julienne, seledka pod shuboi... The list can go on and on.
5. Barely anyone eats the entrees.
Because everyone is so stuffed from the appetizers, it's pretty much impossible to finish the shashlik and potatoes.
6. There's a lot of cash.
Russians love cash and when they're drunk they tend to throw it around.
7. Someone will dance the Barynya.
This fast pace Russian folk dance involves squatting, knee clapping and foot kicking. Yes sounds very complicated and it's not easy...
8. There are over 10 crafts of Vodka at each table.
Russians pour their vodka into crafts at parties.
9. There's never a shortage of booze.
Because a busser will bring out a bottle from the kuhnya.
10. There will be over 10 toasts made throughout the night.
Mother,father,uncle,aunt, 5th cousin. Everyone will have a chance to speak.
11. Several rumkas.
One after the other... "Только рюмка водки на столе." - as per Gregory Leps...
12. The Russian singer will always sing the same songs...
80% of them in Russian of course, but you're guaranteed to hear Coco Jumbo with a huge Russian accent or a couple of ABBA songs.
13. A group picture is necessary.
At the entrance of the restaurant and for some reason it always happens when everyone is already wasted.
14. There will always be that one non Russian speaking person.
And most likely he or she is your cousin's bf/gf. This person ends up getting super wasted (because they simply can't drink as much as Russians.)
15. Russian men are constantly smoking.
They'll spend 70% of their night, hacking cigarettes outside of the restaurants.
16. Most of the time an argument arises.
There's no real Russian party without a razborka, for the most ridiculous reason.
17. There will be that creepy drunk man.
Who won't be able to put a single sentence together and say anything other then suka or blyat!
18. Or the guy who calls you "my son" or "my daughter."
He is not your father, but he doesn't stop talking about how much he loves you like a son or daughter.
19. And of course the babushka.
Who is super over protective and doesn't put up with drunk non sense.
20. Someone will wipe out on the dance floor.
21. Kids will fall asleep anywhere.
Some kid will pass out on the chair, while another one finds a seat on the floor. Parents will party past mid night, so the kids have no other choice than to take a nap until mama and papa are done partying.
22. One person will take someone else's jacket.
Or leave it at the restaurant. It always happens...
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