I don't need to tell you that Western is awesome, its reputation precedes me. But I'll take a minute to boost anyway. Between the high-calibre academics and epic party scene, we give new definition to "work hard, play hard". Especially in September.
Like everyone else around you, you're trying to adjust to being a functional student and human being, but you're drowning in the inherent problems symptomatic of September. Septemberisms, if you will. You aren't alone.
Here are 22 struggles all Western students can definitely relate to this September:
1. You had to make your first impressions on classmates and profs DRENCHED in your own sweat.
If you're not already a sweaty person by nature, speed walking up UC hill in 30° weather will getcha.
2. You're not able to get a treadmill or a gym mat at the rec centre.
People will run out of motivation and spare time come midterms, but for now, you're just gonna have to wait your turn. Or, go for a run along the Thames river while it's still nice out!
3. You have NO idea when Homecoming really is.
Can the people of Broughdale PLEASE come forward and LMK when I can drink beer on your roof? Thanks in advance. Until then, I'm planning on partying in the streets on both the 1st and the 22nd, and I hope you'll all join me.
4. You need to start doing your readings, but you don't want to brave that zoo of a bookstore.
Raise your hand if you took one look at the price tags and line up and decided that the first few weeks of readings just aren't that important. You can always catch up later, right? (wrong)
5. You can't get a seat in class/on the bus.
About half of these folks won't be here next week, but for the first week everyone will be in attendance, so get to the bus stop/class early!
6. You can't get into Frog.
Get on guest list, get a promoter friend, become a promoter, or show up at 9:30. Or, just be realistic and go to Jack's.
7. You can't get into Jack's.
If you're looking at a mile-long line at Jack's, that's a surefire sign it's Septbender. Head to Molly Bloom's, McCabe's, or Taphouse.
8. You can't get into Molly Blooms, McCabe's, or Taphouse.
September is probably the only time you'll see a line-up outside of these bars, but they're still a good bet if you're trying to go out in September. Also, line-ups at these places mean they'll be as lit as anywhere else, so you'll doubtlessly have an amazing time! Also, the drink deals and cool atmosphere at McCabe's might just make it your new fave place along Richmond Row!
9. You have a class in the one building that none of your friends or even sophs have heard of.
What is "Kresge"??????? (Here's a campus map to help you find out!)
10. Your class in NCB ends at 2:30, which is incidentally when your class in Somerville starts.
Don't panic, profs have to give you a ten minute grace period for travel time between classes. However, 10 minutes will never be enough for that kind of distance, in which case, good luck and good riddance. (Shout out FIMS students, you're all going to have to do this at some point.)
11. You haven't really sobered up from Frosh week yet.
Maybe you're really confused and overwhelmed by the transition into routine and regular life, and maybe you're actually just still drunk.
12. You keep telling yourself you’ll be fine to go to 9:30 class after going out to Jack’s on a Monday and you find out time and time again how wrong you are in the morning.
Wrong wrong wrong wrong. However, you get a pass on your mistakes for this month, just as long as you learn your lesson by October!
13. You bought 30 posters at the poster sale.
Only to realize that you don't need to read the same Albert Einstein and Breaking Bad quotes every single day, but you really did need those 2 bills you blew on shiny paper.
14. You're still trying to look semi-respectable on campus because its basically model-ville out here.
Don’t worry, people will stop giving a f*ck by October. And if they don't, then you will. I mean, at some point someone has got to initiate the normalization of sweatpants and messy buns on campus, it might as well be you!
15. You have to avoid eye contact with hundreds of club execs and fraternity bros begging you to visit their booths inside and outside of the UCC.
Please, I just want to get my booster juice in peace!
16. You woke up parched and reached for a water bottle, only to find that it was your vodka from last night.
Only a Western frosh during Septbender would make this mistake. Incidentally, every Western frosh will make this mistake at some point this month.
17. You are realizing that it is physically impossible to attend all of the meetings from the 40 clubs you joined at clubs week.
Maybe I'll just go to all none of them. But in all seriousness, pick a few that genuinely interest you, and then commit yourself to them. Remember, involvement is important, and over-commitment is fatal.
18.You can't wear your new fall wardrobe yet.
That new leather jacket, those suede boots, that blanket scarf...will all have to wait. Unfortunately, you'd be better off in a bikini in this crazy heat.
19. You're either giving or receiving directions every single day.
Because you're either a frosh or surrounded by them. You're also on one of the biggest campuses in Ontario, so it's not a surprise if you're finding yourself lost in second or third year.
20. You showed up to your first day of classes with a laptop and nothing else, only to be told that computers are strictly forbidden in this class.
Interesting, considering the fact that we're learning about Media and Technology.
21. You know you're going to have to say goodbye to Barney’s Patio.
The toughest goodbye in September. Maybe as tough as saying hello to 5pm sunsets and -30° mornings.
22. You haven't tried a Spoke bagel yet due to the line-up, but you still know that they're awesome.
You already know that they are the world's best bagels, because you've been adequately trained to believe and regurgitate this fact by your co-Mustangs. Speaking of which, why isn't the Spoke Bagel our school mascot yet? All in favour of retiring the Mustang in exchange for being known as the Western Spoke Bagels, please say "Yum".
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