If you're in your 20s right now, then you probably agree to say that at one point in time (if not right now) you've lost all chill and have considered yourself a complete mess. Whether you've bombed a job interview, showed up late to class or just didn't feel like adulting, trust me girl, we've all been there.
But don't lose hope because just because you think you're a hot mess, it doesn't mean you're somewhat on the wrong track. In fact, everyone's track of life is different so it's not like there's a set path to life that you definitely must follow. But for those of you who are down and thinking that they're doing everything wrong, fear not because I'm pretty sure you're doing something right. Take pride in yourself and know that whatever mess or knot you feel like you're in the middle of right now, it'll somehow straighten out and find its way.
So for those of you who want confirmation or simply just want to know if there's hope for you, here are a few signs that you're definitely doing something right in your 20s.
You've got a job.
You've constructed your own resume, you've made it past the oh-so nerve wracking interview. You may not like it, you might even hate it, but at least you understand the value of money. You're no princess, you know that you've gotta work for that ca$hmoney.
Your bills aren't under your parents name.
Considering that you have a job, whether it's a simple debit card a new credit card that you're trying not to touch (but most of the time touching anyway), you know the responsibility of paying those bills back or simply keeping within a budget.
You know how to cook something besides eggs.
Or ramen. It's nice to know that you don't need momma to serve you every single meal (even though nothing beats what momma makes) and that you know how to follow a basic recipe to keep yourself alive.
And you consider healthy eating habits too.
Take care of yourself. Seriously, you know you are ahead of the pack when you know that you don't need your mom to put broccoli down your throat. Take initiative of your own health and get to workin'.
You have long term goals & dreams.
It's not enough to pray for a prince to marry you and live happily ever after. No, by dreams I mean aspirations and goals that you actually force yourself to strive towards until you final get there. Find a direction that you wish to move your life towards and follow it until it's no longer a goal but reality.
You have some sort of savings account.
A lot of responsibilities that you slowly have to get into is the responsibility of your finances. Now I know it sounds crazy but putting aside even $20 a paycheque into a savings account can do so much later on. If you haven't started one, you should really get on that!
You've been through some shit.
Whether it's been a relationship issue, or a personal issue, the reason why you've gone so much is to make you stronger. I may not be Kelly Clarkson but it's true. You're never going to know love without heartbreak. It takes pain in order to understand joy. You've been through shit, but whatever it is just know that there's a greater reason why.
You question yourself.
It's no secret that we all question ourselves--- where are we going in life? Who are we going to be in the future? What the fvck am I doing with my life? And they're all valid questions because it's not enough to just follow the crowd and do what someone else tells you. Question yourself and answer the questions that you keep asking yourself because only you have the answers.
You have established who your close friends are.
Not everyone has a solid circle of friends that they can 100% put their faith and trust in. Having such people in your life establishing a support system that you can run to when you need support or when you can run and support a friend. It takes years to establish a close knit relationship and guts to cut off the friends that don't benefit you in anyway. Take a minute to really reflect on who your diamonds are in the rough and who's really there to mooch off your profit.
You know how to use public transportation.
During my first year of university I remember sitting beside a girl in my lecture hall and making small talk. I kind of felt like she was on the princess side but I wasn't really sure until I asked her if she was on res too. She replied, "oh I don't live on res, I commute" to which I asked "oh so you take the bus here?" and she said "Yeah, omg today was the first time I used public transit and It's actually the worst".
Now I'm not passing any judgement here but at that moment I was actually kind of proud that most of my childhood took place during those troublesome TTC commutes. The thing is that knowing how to use the public transit system forces you to go out into the real world and immerse yourself with other people as opposed to the isolation of your car. Not to mention that it helps if you're ever lost and you know how to navigate to more places than one.
You're not the same person you were a year ago.
Every year you are constantly changing and that is perfectly okay. You are never going to grow if you stay stagnant. Challenge yourself to try something new and open your mind to opportunities that you were so used to shutting out before. Who knows, you might surprise yourself.
You have hobbies & interests.
Having a passion for things is healthy and good for the soul. The thing about hobbies is that it forces you to put your everything into something without actually forcing you to do it. If painting, reading or jamming out on a guitar makes you feel alive, then you go do your thang!
And you have time to enjoy them.
Priorities are a major thing that takes personal experience and time to determine what is considered more important. Slaving away at school or work all day every week isn't healthy. Take time to do the things you love and enjoy it.
You know to talk to people.
Not a lot of people completely understand how to communicate with other people. Learning how to immerse yourself into a community is extremely important if you want to go far in life. So if you may not be completely book smart, that's perfectly fine. It's the way you sell yourself to people that is going to determine how far you'll get.
You're trying to budget (key word being try).
Yup, it takes strength to hold off on the shopping binge that you so wish to do. Instead, train yourself to be strong against the annual sale and learn how to save money.
You know who you are as a person.
Unfortunately not everyone understands how important this is. A huge part of your development as a young adult is within your 20s. It's going to take time and that's okay. Just know that you're going to be growing into a new person at the end of your journey and that you should keep track on who you end up becoming.
Your priorities are sorted.
As mentioned before, know what's important to you and of how much importance that thing you hold on.
You take responsibilities for your mistakes.
Let's be real, you're going to fvck up. And it's going to be okay. Take this time learn from your mistakes and grow from them. Otherwise, that's all they are--- mistakes made without a cause.
Trust me when I say that I'm a person who doesn't give a fvck about certain things. So when you find something that you care about, nourish that passion and care with every fibre in your body.
You're good with your family.
Family is a very important thing that you should never let go of. When all things go down in the shits, know that you have a family who will love you regardless of all the shit you've gone through.
You can afford to eat for the sake of eating.
You may not realize it and take it for granted but if you can go out to eat simply because you feel like it, then you are one lucky motherfvcker. Despite all the small things that we go through all the time, just take a moment to appreciate the blessings that you were blessed with.
You have a place you consider home.
This may not necessarily be a place, it can also be a person. Find somewhere, something or somewhere that you identify your comfort zone in and flourish in it. Home is a place where you can regenerate and feel comfortable. We all deserve that and you do too.
You're moving forward.
As mentioned, shit is going to fly into the fan. And sometimes things can get messy. Try not to let that stop you from cleaning yourself up and continue to move forward. Learn to go through your 20s being a classy bitch and leaving all your demons where they belong--- the closet.
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